Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!

The Griffins are in New York and Lois ends up losing her cell phone. Peter calls out to Lois from inside a phone booth.

"Hey, don't worry, Lois", calls out Peter, "Look, here's an empty telephone booth."

All these furry monsters charge up and shout, "AN EMPTY TELEPHONE BOOTH!", and they cram into the booth with Peter. Then the monsters run out of the booth screaming while covering their eyes. And it shows Peter with a can of mace.

"Crazy college monsters", laughed Peter.
 
I think most of these are pretty good- in fact, several of them WAAAYYY better than what we've been GETTING.

I do like the Dr.Who/Hitler one, but DO think that maybe we could focus some of the cutaways on OTHER legendary villains?

I think the Hitler thing has been done to death- and remember that there were a few even worse dictatorial villains of the 20th century.
( and worth noting...you were saying it would be sad if he was inspired by a moron from the future- um... yeah....Hitler wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the fridge EITHER...)

I LOVE the Sodom & Gomorrah one, and the online gamer one- as well as the Family Matters one.
 
The family is watching TV when they channel surf past an old episode of Hollywood Squares.

Lois: Oh look, Peter, Hollywood Squares! Remember the week they had you on the show?

**FLASHBACK**

X Contestant: I'll take Whoopi Goldberg.

Tom Bergeron: Alright. Whoopi, what is the world's heaviest mammal?

Whoopi: Hm. (looks up) I'm going to have say it's Peter. (points up) (camera pans out to show Peter in the top center square.

*everyone laughs*

Whoopi: (composing herself) Actually, I think it's the blue whale.

X Contestant: I'll agree.

(Camera cuts back to game board. A large cracking noise is heard, then Peter's square begins to fall apart underneath him as he falls through, landing on Whoopi and crashing through to the bottom floor, both of them landing on the celebrity in the bottom row. This causes the rest of the game board to tip inwards, spilling the other four celebrities on the mid and upper levels to the ground.)

Tom Bergeron: Uhmm... circle gets the square!
 
Brian: I bet no beside me is this discriminated at the airport.
(Cut to G1 Megatron at an airport. He's voiced by Frank Welker BTW.)
Megatron: Here is my ticket, First Class.
Clerk: Sir, is that gun barrel in your back?
Megatron: Yes.
Clerk: Sorry sir but you can't get on this flight.
Megatron: Oh what, becuase I'm a gun? This is descrimination! I SHALL RETURN!
(Lifts off.)
 
Lois: Oh no, Meg. Your not going out of the house dressed like that!


Meg: But mom..


Lois: Now Meg, I don't want you ending up with the wrong crowd.


(Cuts to a bank where Joe tries to stop a robbery by Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Kim Kardashian.)


Joe: Alright ladies, your all under arrest!


Lindsay Lohah: You'll never stop us, cripple! We're young, rich, and drunk with power!


Joe : Oh yeah, well we've already taken care of your boss in Hollywood.


(Cuts to Ryan Seacrest's office at E! Entertainment)


Answering Machine: Mr. Seacrest, Lindsay, Paris, and Kim have all been arrested by the police, and they're now coming after you.


Ryan Seacrest: Aw, hell no!


(Seacrest runs into his getaway chopper.)


Ryan Seacrest: They'll never take me in! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!


(Chopper crash lands into a giant 'American Idol' billboard)


Chauncy: Now there's something you don't see every day, Chauncy.


Edger: What's that Edger?


Chauncy: American Idol going up in flames.


Edger: oh, i don't know. Ryan Seacrest is already A flaming D-Bag.
 
Lois says, "Do you remember when we were houseguests of the Berenstain Bears?"

It shows the Berenstain Bears at one side of the dinner table and the Griffins on the other side, minus Peter.

"It's so nice of you to have us over for dinner, Mama Bear", said Lois.

"My pleasure, Lois", said Mama Bear, "Where is Peter."

"He said he wanted to get us some firewood", said Papa Bear.

They suddenly hear a chainsaw and Peter shouting, "TIMBER!" Outside, we see Peter holding a chainsaw, watching the Bear's treehouse topple over. The Griffins and Bears climb out through the leaves and an angry Papa Bear bear approaches Peter.

"You crazy psycho!" shouted Papa, "Didn't anyone teach you about respecting nature?!"

"Oh gee", said Peter. "Then I guess you're not gonna like the other thing I did earlier." They all look in shock as they see all the Bear Country citizens on the ground as lifeless bear skin rugs.

A nervous Actual Factual Bear was seen hiding behind a bush and replied, "An actual fact about Peter Griffin. HE MUST DIE!"
 
Well, since the topic is back on the front page, I'll contribute another one. Not sure how it stacks up to the others, but hopefully a few will like it.

*Stewie is talking to Jasper, Brian's homosexual cousin*
Stewie: So, Jasper, I'm curious, are their any kind of guidelines to...well, "coming out of the closet?"
Jasper: Oh, it depends on a lot of stuff! Where you live, who your family is...though personally I think it's best to get it out of the way as soon as possible. You know, before everyone finds out in an incredibly awkward and embarrassing way.
*cut to the end of South Park's "Imagination Land, pt. 3"*
Cartman: Oh look, Kyle, it seems you are sucking my balls!
Kyle: Cut it out Cartman, I'm not-wait, what're they doing?
General: They're...taking their clothes off?
*everyone stares wide eyed*
Kyle: Cartman, what are you doing?
Cartman: I-It's not me!
Kyle: They're your imagination, Cartman!
Stan: Hey, now they're...dude!
*the stares are now mixes of shock and humor*
Mayor: Oh my goodness!
Soldier: So that's why the fat kid wanted him to suck his balls so much.
Cartman: IT IS NOT! Imaginary Cartman, I order you to to stop!
Kyle: Wow, Cartman, I had no idea...
Cartman: This isn't what it looks like, okay?! Don't you dare think-
Jesus: Hey, now what are they...
*weird sounds are heard, and everyone then wears a horrified expression*
Stan: Jesus!
Jesus: Right behind you!
*they vomit, as do others*
Kyle: Cartman, that is sick and wrong!
Cartman: It's not me! Damn it, Cartman, stop it! Stop it right now!
Mayor: Hoo boy, and here I thought Dumbledore was kinky!
 
peter: quagmire, what were you doing inside the internet?

quagmire: saving the world.

peter: I'll come with you.

peter: allright angemon, full speed ahead!

quagmire: heh heh! all right!

angewomon: just don't try anything, ok?

quagmire: giggity,giggity,giggity,giggity,giggity.

angewomon: quagmire!

quagmire: sorry.
 
(Shot of Stewie's classroom):
Teacher: Ok kids, what do you want to be when you grow up?
(the kids go through the typical careers, doctor, astronaut, etc, then one kid says "i wanna be a junkie when i grow up")
Stewie: Hmm,, so i guess someone DID say it after all
(Hows THAT for obscure?)
 
Brian: Peter, if you drink too much alcohol, it'll impair your memory!
Peter (drunk): Nonshense, Brian, that's ridickerlous! That's even more ridickerlous than that time I......um......I......
Brian: .......
Peter: .....well, when SOMETHIN' HAPPENED!
 
Brian: Can't two guys have a solid relationship without it anyone assuming it's sexual? Now I know how Batman and Robin feel.

[Cut to Batman and Robin in bed together, wearing their costumes. Batman kisses Robin on the back of his ear. Robin wakes

Robin: Batman...
Batman: Hmm?
Robin: Why did you kiss my ear?
Batman: Why are you holding my hand?
Robin [frowns]: Where's your other hand?
Batman: Between two pillows...
Robin: Those aren't pillows!

[Batman and Robin jump out of bed, disgusted, screaming and retching.]

Batman: So how about that Catwoman?
Robin: Yeah, she's really hot.
Batman: Yeah.

[Awkward silence.]

Robin: Yeah, I'm just gonna go wash up a little.
Batman: OK, you do that.
Robin: Yeah.

[Robin exits. Batman crouches over.]
Batman: Oh, YOW!
 
Peter: With that insurance money I was able to get an awesome new car! Lois, You gotta see it!

Lois comes outside and looks at the car, which is in the driveway.

Lois: Well it looks nice peter but what's so special about it?

Peter: See this keychain lois? It's anew safety feature. I can automatically lock or unlock the car doors from over 100 feet away! Look!

Peter clicks the button to unlock the car.

Suddently a robber runs up, gets in, and steals the car.

Peter: Well that wasn`t very safe at all was it.
 
LOL. It's not that obscure--those PSAs were shown so often, most people knew what you were referring to.

The Griffins are watching the Disney Channel.

Announcer: "And now back to Winnie the Pooh in, 'Friends With Hunny'."
You see three high-society women with upturned noses sitting haughtily on a large bench of a veranda. They're all holding big, bright, glistening pots overflowing with honey. Winnie the Pooh is sitting between the second and third woman, licking his lips and visibly uncomfortable.
1st woman: "I say! Why did you not bring sustenance?"
Pooh: "Well, oh bother, I just can't afford it right now..."
3rd woman: "Say! Maybe we should share some of ours with him!"
The woman all laugh with their hands to their mouths at the suggestion. "Ha ha ha! Oh, my word..."
One second of silence, then.....
Pooh: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! YOU BOURGEOIS PIGS!! AAAAAHH--"
There is a sudden cut to the lawn, with the veranda in the distance, only now it has blood stains. Pooh races across the hall with a crazed look on his face, carting all the honey pots in his arms and yelling "VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!!"

Griffins: ............
 
PETER: Boy, I feel guiltier than the time I met the Geico Gecko.

(flashback to the living room. the geico gecko - closeup)

GEICO GECKO: Are you interested in saving money on car insurance by switching to Geico?

PETER: Nope. Not interested.

GEICO GECKO: Oh, come on! Help me out here! This is the only job I get paid good money for! My wife got custody of my kids, I have barely any money for child support! (sigh) OK...I understand...

(He slowly walks away.)

GEICO GECKO: I guess I'd be interested to put the toaster in the bathtub.

(Peter has a guilty look on his face)

PETER: Aw...

(He runs up to him)

PETER: Wait, wait. How much money would I be saving?

GECKO: A great amount.

PETER: It's a deal.

(Smooth music plays with Peter shaking his hand)
 
Tom Tucker: This just in, Quahog is now experiencing a huge tomato shortage. All the stores, and supermarkets are saying 'yes, we have no tomatoes, we have no tomatoes today.'


Peter: Aw, this is stupid! How the hell did we get this tomato shortage anyway?!


(Cuts away to Dr. Putrid Gangrene's secret laboratory.)


Dr. Gangrene: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Haaaa! Sooon, I'll be able to create a new, more powerful army of killer tomatoes, so that I can once again...


Igore: Uh, like, take over the world?


Dr. Gangreen: Of COURSE! Oh, What is it, Igore?


Igore: Uh, master, I was just wondering what would happen if your new batch of tomatoes would ever hear, oh I don't know, like, the new Justin Beiber song on the radio?


Dr. Gangrene: Igore, you just said something stupid, and you know what that means?


Igore: Uh, your gonna whack me over the head with a mallet?


Dr. Gangrene: Very good, Igore.


(Dr. Gangrene whacks Igore over the head with a mallet.)


Dr. Gangrene: Now get me my CW 4Kids membership card!


Igore: Oh, uh yes, master! Like, right away master!
 
*Peter & Brian are in the car, Brian is driving*
Peter: Brian, I hope this won't take long, you know I have a hard time holding it in.
Brian: Peter, come on, it'll only take 10 minutes
Peter: But, don't you remember the last time I had to take a crap in a car?
*cut to June 11th Raw, with Mr. McMahon about to get into limo*
Mr. McMahon: Driver, could you...
Peter: Ah crap, I really have to go to the washroom now, Mr. McMahon!
Mr. McMahon: Damn it, Griffin, Just get me out of here...or I'll fire you.
Peter; Wait, but----*farts*
*Limo explodes*
 
Back
Top