Ducati and misogyny

Notice all the married men haven't chimed in. 'Cept me. Will you wankers please put a lid on your opinions until you have enough experience to understand your position on all things feminine!?



Twisted outta shape? You guys think I "hate" women? Oh no. Not hate at all. I'm tortured by them. Let me clue you inexperienced younglings in on the female mind. It's quite extraordinary. Way more devious, insidious, and spiteful than any male could possibly understand.

At their base level, their id, a woman hates all other women. In order to establish a pecking order, women collect things. Nic-naks, dolls, shoes, diamonds and yes, men. Where men value attractive physical features, intelligence, and companionship, women value "what you can do for them." Above all else they want a provider. To the extent that an attractive female will throw evolution to the side, risking balding, dwarf like children, in exchange for a big house, nice car, giant rock, and a massive collection of shoes. Rich beats handsome every time.

Admittedly my gross generalization is extreme. However, most women do fall somewhere on a sliding scale for this behavior. It all depends on the social status they start from. It also depends on how smart and attractive they are. The dumb ones are "crazy" and good in the sack. The smart ones are not as much fun and they have an agenda. Usually centered around their personal well being.

Women are also on a timer. They instinctually know that they are on a collision course with a brick wall. The ovaries dry up, hair starts falling out, and the entire body starts to sag somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 years of age. BAM! The majority hit the wall hard! You see them at your high school reunions. The chick that was once hot and now has a "Mom" haircut and looks like a hippopotamus. They know they better have a good man all locked up before that happens. Therefore women are usually in a relative rush to move the relationship along. It's just instinct.

To complicate matters, from birth they are taught that being the "center of attention" at a massively expensive wedding is a requirement after receiving a diamond valued at double her man's monthly gross salary. Trust me, the first thing a woman notices on another woman is the size of her engagement ring. The pecking order is established.

As a dumb, dim witted man you need to be lead and enticed to this stage of the relationship. She remains super hot, likes all the stuff you like, and is up for anything in the sack. She'll even toss your salad and let you have some back door action if that's what it takes. Literally within a few weeks after getting the shackles on you, that stuff starts to fade. And if you have kids???? (queue "Price is Right" failure music). At a minimum they start going to bed at 9:00pm leaving you alone in your house til your typical, manly late night passing out. At the extreme they start farting and going to the bathroom in front of you. Which is a walk in the park if you've ever been present at a birth.

You're firmly placed at the bottom of the totem pole with the kids on top and her above you. Being the provider becomes your top priority, partying is frowned upon, opportunities for sex are limited (if you're not already bored with her body and it's proximity to the wall or still having flash backs from the birthing scene), and your only escape becomes the small number of toys you can possess after your providing is done.

The key to a successful marriage is to be content with medocrity. It's not exciting. It's not constant bliss. You long forget the feeling of a strange hand down your pants. It's just ups and downs and a lot of work at times. Soon you don't want a strange hand down your pants because you know what it leads to, a relationship with yet another woman. You would need to be certifiably insane to actually want that.

Therein lies the kicker. You're married. Your conscience and brain won't let you cheat. You've conquered the demons and devoted yourself to just one woman. You wear the ring on your finger. You're there. You're content. You're "legally" bound to support this person for the rest of your life. So what happens next?

You go about your business wearing that symbol of your subjecated life to a woman and what do the other women do? They suddenly become incredibly attracted to you! During your entire single life you couldn't get laid in a morgue, when all you ever had to do was put on a wedding ring. Yes, women, the great collectors of stuff who hate all other women, they start trying to steal men from each other. Just to see if they can do it. As a dumb man with a ring, you're a hunk of meat to these piranha. They pull out all the stops to test their skills as a collector of other chicks' stuff.

I always used to tell myself growing up, "If a hot chick ever walks up to me and asks me to go F*&% her, I'm definitely doing it." Whelp, that never happened....UNTIL I GOT MARRIED! At which point, not one, but two hot married cougars have propositioned me. They want what my Wife has. And it has absolutely nothing to do with me! Either that or they're all in league with each other knowing that if I take the bait the sisterhood will benefit from my Wife taking all my shit. I don't know.

See, I'm not a misogynist! I don't hate women! I fear women. They are evil! I want no parts of other women. One is enough for me. My hands are full. Motorcycles and riding them fast on a race track are a far more pleasant experience than playing with the pack of matches known as women. You young bucks are just too inexperienced to know what you're in for. You're like fawn on the state game lands.

Things to remember:
Don't get married before you're 30.Don't marry a girl with a tattoo of a dagger on her back.Live with the woman you're considering marrying for at least 5 years before pulling the pin.Cheat your ass off before you get married but not after.If it comes down to the 3 input hottie with a wild lifestyle and sweet rack or the more regular looking, responsible good cook, with a great heart, go for the latter.If all else fails, there's nothing wrong with the internet and your right hand. After you're married you may wind up there anyway.
There's girls you F and girls you marry. Choose wisely or forever suffer in the pits of female hell. And believe it or not, I'm a happily married man with two beautiful daughters.

No a Ducati is no replacement for a woman. But why in your right mind wouldn't you choose the Ducati over what I just described????
 
You do have a point in this litany of feminine torts you list but thats "off road" from the highway of vulgarity of some homosexuals truly humiliating and taking sadistic pleasure in putting down women. You seem to like women a bit too much which is a healthy virtue, after all. I think that the closet gays are the worst misogynists and they are not hard to spot. They usually use a woman for cover.
 
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