Drinking again

  • Thread starter Thread starter digmusic
  • Start date Start date
D

digmusic

Guest
I recently relapsed on heroin and got off it pretty quickly and and back on my suboxone regimen for now. I'm not taking any other illegal drugs or even prescription pills besides suboxone, but I have been drinking again maybe 3x a week. I tend to get really hungover too, even if I don't even feel very drunk or just have maybe 3 drinks the whole night. Of course, I am a small girl, but 3 doesn't seem like enough to give me such killer hangovers. I think my boyfriend has a drinking problem. I don't think he's a full-blown alcoholic and he doesn't drink daily, but he seems to have the "itch" that I have. He drinks a lot and never seems drunk but whenever I bring it up he gets really defensive about it. Apparently, I keep bringing it up when I'M drunk, calling HIM an alcoholic. He said that this has to stop and that part of our relationship neeRAB to change or he will probably break up with me if I keep bringing it up over and over again. The thing is, I've never seen him get so defensive about anything before, so I have a feeling I'm right. I know I shouldn't be drinking, but it's hard not to when you're surrounded by people who think it's totally normal and drink like normal college kiRAB (a lot). I don't know what advice I'm looking for exactly, I just wanted to sort of vent and tell on myself. I don't know if my boyfriend has an alcohol problem or not or if I'm just projecting or if we both have an alcohol problem. Is it possible for me to stay sober while he continues to get drunk at parties every weekend or am I kidding myself and that's going to be a miserable existence? I admit, it's hard to have a boyfriend who drinks. It makes it seem "normal" and like it's not a big deal when I do it, even though I'm always hungover and he never is. That's one of his "proofs" that I have a drinking problem, not him, because I'm always hungover and he never is, but I think he just has lucky body chemistry. Now that I type this out, it seems very dysfunctional. I'm not allowed to express anymore concern or he'll break up with me apparently. But he does seem to look for beer as soon as we go somewhere, he never spenRAB money on anything but he'll buy booze, and he works at a liquor store. Am I being durab? I keep telling myself "heroin was my problem," but obviously alcohol is a problem too if I can't seem to drink without being hungover the whole next day. I don't want to leave my boyfriend, I like him so much and he is not ever abusive, but I do have a feeling not drinking with him would be hard and he is obviously not going to change and feels he has no problem whatsoever.

Sorry so long, felt good to get that out. Any advice or worRAB welcome.
 
Do you think you should look into a psychiatrist to work with you on your addictive tendencies? Could the drugs and alcohol be just vehicles for your underlying addictive disposition? That might be where the problem lies and you have to work on fixing it and the other problems will go away.
 
I personally don't think that someone struggling with sobriety is going to do well being in a relationship with another addict. It's just asking for trouble, playing with fire, so to speak. Especially if the other partner is either in denial of his problem or is aware of it but has no intention of stopping.

My ex is a drug user and I don't use drugs. While he was with me, his drug use cut back considerably, although it never stopped entirely. His current GF is a drug user and he is back in full-blown addiction. Living with an addict brought him right back to where he was before he was with me, and he's into it way worse than he ever was.

The best thing you have going for you is your desire to stay sober. Being in a relationship with someone who abuses any substance, particularly when you feel compelled to join him in his use, is not going to help your sobriety one bit.

If you truly want to be sober, you need to seriously rethink this relationship.
 
Thanks for your posts. I am still tapering off the suboxone and haven't drank in a week. I feel pretty good. Oddly enough, I haven't drank the week I am away from my boyfriend... and it hasn't been hard at all, because the frienRAB I got to catch up with this week don't drink or drink normally. I don't crave it when I'm alone or not at a party feeling socially awkward. My boyfriend goes to parties like that, frat party type parties, at least twice a week. It definitely let me see the discrepancy between "normal" and my boyfriend. He gets back tomorrow and I'm going to tell him that I'm going to keep this up. I'm curious to see if it will be hard again not to drink. I have a feeling that his reaction will be "okay, that sounRAB great," but that he secretly will actually want me to drink. Subconsciously, anyway. He doesn't actively wish me ill, he just doesn't want to feel alcoholic. I'll update on what happens. Here it goes on record right now: I haven't drank in a week and I feel good, and having no hangovers is pure bliss!!! I really don't want to have to give him up and I hope it can work, but I know that if it becomes a problem again, I have to put my health above my boyfriend. I can hear that I'm kind of kidding myself and in denial, and that's what I would respond to myself if I were someone else. :( Yet, I'm "in love". Why do I always fall for other alcoholics?? Jeez.
 
Perhaps this is a question you can ask your sponsor or a therapist. It's like playing with fire, risking your sobriety for a guy. That's not healthy for you, so it might be of utmost importance to find out why you're willing to risk your health for a man. Because trust me, there are millions of great men out there who are not addicts and who would be supportive of your dedication to sobriety.
 
Back
Top