Tell me whether you laugh or groan at some these funny door signs. Some I have invented, others I have heard before.
Newton's Clock Repairs: Back in a couple of ticks.
Newton's Photographers: Back in a flash.
Newton's Vampire Club: Gone for a bite.
Newton's Sandwich Bar: Our tongue sandwiches speak for themselves.
Newton's Mathematicians: You can count on us.
Newton's Emergency Services: This office is closed. Your nearest office is 300 miles away.
Newton's Know Alls: We are closed today. We may be open tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or maybe never.
Newton's Page 3 Club: Girls leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Newton's Mosquito Control: Only visit us if it's absolutely necessary. We believe that giving blood is a good thing.
Newton's Opticians: If you cannot read this sign you may need our help.
Newton's Bailiff Co: Visit us or we'll visit you.
Newton's Hunting Trainers: We are closed for today. If you see an animal you want to get rid of try killing it yourself. It will be good practise.
Newton's Counselling Co: We will be back when our hearing returns. Next time don't shout! We're not deaf! Or we are now!
Newton's Ghosts: We are closed. See you tonight.
Newton's Hotel: We are full. If you need a place to spend tonight what's wrong with your home?
Newton's Clock Repairs: Back in a couple of ticks.
Newton's Photographers: Back in a flash.
Newton's Vampire Club: Gone for a bite.
Newton's Sandwich Bar: Our tongue sandwiches speak for themselves.
Newton's Mathematicians: You can count on us.
Newton's Emergency Services: This office is closed. Your nearest office is 300 miles away.
Newton's Know Alls: We are closed today. We may be open tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or maybe never.
Newton's Page 3 Club: Girls leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Newton's Mosquito Control: Only visit us if it's absolutely necessary. We believe that giving blood is a good thing.
Newton's Opticians: If you cannot read this sign you may need our help.
Newton's Bailiff Co: Visit us or we'll visit you.
Newton's Hunting Trainers: We are closed for today. If you see an animal you want to get rid of try killing it yourself. It will be good practise.
Newton's Counselling Co: We will be back when our hearing returns. Next time don't shout! We're not deaf! Or we are now!
Newton's Ghosts: We are closed. See you tonight.
Newton's Hotel: We are full. If you need a place to spend tonight what's wrong with your home?
