Does this sound like a good book?

Taylah

New member
I've noticed that a lot of people ask about there books that there writing, and I'm self conscious about a lot of stuff, and I wanted to know if anyone would actually read this.
I know it doesn't show a lot emotions and stuff, but I'm only thirteen, so yeah... but please don't say yeah it's good just so you don't hurt my feelings or anything, cos I seriously want to know lol.

Here is the first draft for a blurb:

Demon: supposed evil spirit.

Asher Keens has a pretty good life, a fabulous boyfriend, two of the best friends and a good family life, that is until the Williams family move to L.A. Waren, Kyden and Shai move to her school and Asher is instantly drawn to Kyden and his charms.
Then one day, her life is destroyed after finding out that her boyfriend doesn't love her anymore, her friends aren't really her friends, she is a powerful demon and Kydens family is a coven of evil demons out to kill her.

What happens when a war starts between her 'friends' and Kydens family to save her from her self or to destroy her?

I know its pretty crap...
 
Sounds great! The premise has so much potential. But I agree, try not to follow too closely to Twilight series. Good luck.
 
I actualy thing that the summery sounded pretty good... I'm intreged, I would like to read more about it. I really like the names you picked too, they arn't as typical as most. Good job! :):):)
 
That was an interesting summary. It reminded me of some other stories (already mentioned by other answers) but in a good way.

Answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090628211645AA1Dv7I
 
Look, kiddo.

If you think you're going to be passionate about writing, you should really spend a good five years reading the best of the best out there. Start some writing of your own only once you've got some Dickens and Hemingway in your library. Avoid crap like Twilight.
 
I think it could be quite good if you really worked it. I like the idea of having to save her from herself... that's interesting.
I think that if you really wanted to make this story great you'd have to characterize really well. Make the people real; make them jump off the page.
It may be a little cliched, so you'd have to try and jazz things up a bit.
 
The premise doesn't sound too bad, but the names...
Why do they all have such strange names if they were raised in normal families? One oddball name is understandable, but you've got a Waren, a Kyden, and a Shai.
I have taken Creative Writing classes for over five years with peers of varying talents, and one sign of growth I've always noticed is when people stop using strange names. Having a multitude of strange names is usually a sign of an amateur. I mean, yes, most people wish they had a cooler name, but the fact is that most parents don't give their newborns names like "Kyden". It's just not realistic for all the characters to have stand-out names.
You're still 13. It sounds like you have good ideas and nothing will help you improve more than practice will. So go ahead and write your book, and if you had fun doing it, then keep on writing. Eventually, one day, you may be good enough to get published. Just don't expect for that day to come now.
 
i might be stupid, but i actually got really confused!!! i dont really get it. you might want to try making it a bit simpler for people out there like me lol i also dont really like the names, cuz they are a bit different and confusing. so anyways, pretty good story line so far and i wish you all the luck
 
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