Does this poem seem artistic or just sappy?

D

dallinashby

New member
I love to write poetry but I like to know what others think of my work... I think the positive feedback is partly why I love to write so much.
What I've done here is begun each stanza with a three syllable line and followed it with two rhyming lines to build on the unique thought inspired by the first line. Anyway, tell me what you think.

Sensuous -


Milky white
Ivory in light
Succulent delight

Naked nape
Touch to escape
Texture as crepe

Light caress
Silk to undress
Creamy empress

Taste, smell, touch
Sensual and such
Roistering too much

Trace the curve
Peel away reserve
Passion to conserve
 
ok so i don't really get the point but ...well is it about the 5 senses?
i like it though very nice and well thought out ...its very deep...can u tell me about mine??

Gray
its dull
its no fun at all
its the color of gloom
the color of doom
its one of the colors that make you sad
or is gray the lattest fad?
its an exiting news paper
or just a color to saver
or the colors of mittens
or a little gray kittens
even the dullest shade
can be one of the ones that made
The day be done
the night had begun
you let youre imagination flow
and let your creativity go
and turn bad to nice
and flame into ice
thats how imagination goes
 
what joys we reserve
..within the fortitude of our souls..
..basking in their embrace...
yet while this sensation lasts..
through out our loving experience..
..we appreciate what comes after...

Our conservation of this sensation allows us to elaborate further upon this pleasure uniquely bound by our interminable curiosity.

I enjoyed your poem. Its mysterious and pleasurable embrace warmed my freezing soul. Frozen from having been away from my love, poetry, for only one second in time.
♥♥peotically resurrected♥♥
 
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