does this joke need some work...A couple had serious argument?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Conan
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Conan

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just before they went to bed to sleep. Next day, the husband plan to go fishing with his palls- usually he asks his wife to wake him, but tonight he rather not as the tension is still in the air. So he decides to write her a note, which says: Wake me up at 5 am! Just to make sure she'll read it he lays it on her pillow.

Next morning he wakes up. To his dismay he sees that it's already 8 am and that the bed next to him is empty. Then looking at his pillow he notices his own note which now says: "it's 5 o'clock, you have to wake up!"
 
Good stuff!, Made me laugh.

I kinda felt a tiny bit off track as to how she would wake him at five (read through it fast, to see if it flowed well).

Like maybe his note could say 'wake me up at 5 when you get up.' or something like that, and then continue with the rest, so it lets the person reading the joke know that she's waking up that early, and he wants her to get him up as she is getting up.
(instead of just 'wake me at 5', cause then it leads to having to assume she's getting up at that time or before,)

it makes it more straightforward and bluntly obvious, but jokes need to be simplified in a sense so it's very easy to skim through and get the punch of it. Really funny though, sounds like something that would happen with me and my girlfriend hah :P
 
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