I have a very good friend, he's 16, he's really nice to me and everyone. I've never seen him say or do anything that was even slightly mean or rude or impolite... he's actually very popular amongst most of my friends... but he's a little childish sometimes, usually only in a specific class we have together when he's with his best friend. In all his other classes, he's very introvert, shy, and just.. seems kind of sad. He doesn't usually stir up conversation with anyone besides me even though everyone likes him and thinks that he's nice and everything... he definitely doesn't appear to have any type of disability when you first meet him. He's even on the football team and is great at basketball! But the thing is, he speaks rather toothily.. and when we have to sit still for a while, watching a documentary or movie or something, I sometimes catch him staring into space. His mouth is usually hung open, and it's like he doesn't notice that it is for a long time. Usually I'll say something to him about the movie or class to get his attention, and that automatically snaps him out of his 'trance'-like state and he closes his mouth... he doesn't have anything wrong with him mentally, that I can see. He acts totally normal, besides the whole "childish" thing... but I'm sure he's aware that his mouth is open sometimes because when he catches himself doing it he looks rather embarrassed. Sometimes he has trouble closing his mouth completely though, but that's only when he closes it without speaking... He's also definitely not dumb. He has at least a 90 in all of our classes, I always go to him for math homework and psychology and stuff... it's kind of hard to explain, and I didn't mean to offend anyone with the title of this question but I was just curious.. I think that it would be very impolite to just ask him "Hey, what's wrong with your mouth?" or "Why do you sit there with your mouth hung wide open all the time?" because he's just very sensitive, believe it or not. I've known him for about 6 months but never was I brave enough to ask about this. It's not an issue, I'm just very curious... so.. my question is,.. what is causing my friend to do this?.. could it be a physical deformity in his mouth? Or something mentally? I know his bottom teeth are somewhat crooked,.. but I don't really know what it could be...
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Does my friend have some kind of.. disorder?
- Thread starter AdamXIII
- Start date
Jolly Molly,
I would accept your friend just as he is, without questioning him about his mouth. Just realize that each and every one of us are differant, and grow differantly. You are both in a time of life that is often very awkward for many of us, as we grow from childhood into adulthood.
Instead of tryng to "fix" the problem you find obvious, why dont you instead focus on all the positve things you mentioned in your post. To be a real friend, you must accept the whole person without making one part or another of theirs to be unacceptable. For example, being a kind person is a choice, and far outweighs having a physical issue, for which he may have no choice.
Look past his mouth, into his heart. I bet he would do that for you.
I would accept your friend just as he is, without questioning him about his mouth. Just realize that each and every one of us are differant, and grow differantly. You are both in a time of life that is often very awkward for many of us, as we grow from childhood into adulthood.
Instead of tryng to "fix" the problem you find obvious, why dont you instead focus on all the positve things you mentioned in your post. To be a real friend, you must accept the whole person without making one part or another of theirs to be unacceptable. For example, being a kind person is a choice, and far outweighs having a physical issue, for which he may have no choice.
Look past his mouth, into his heart. I bet he would do that for you.
I agree with what WriteLeft said. You guys are teenagers, and while in the process of discovering who you are as a person, all of us go through different phases. So if he's acting goofy, that's his right to, let him enjoy himself, and possibly learn something from the experience. Everyone has their own things that they do to make themselves comfortable, so if hanging his mouth open while he is paying attention to something makes him comfortable, let him be comfortable. His embarrassment that you mentioned about the situation, is probably due to someone saying something to him about how he looks, while trying to be comfortable. Let your friends be comfortable, because that's how you want it, if your friends aren't comfortable around you, they won't be your friends for too long. It's called a "velvet dagger," you may think it will feel good to say something to your friend about what's going on, but in actuality you'll hurt him, instead of help him. This is something I had to learn the hard way, Take care.
Jolly Molly
Sometimes the person's mouth is open because they can't get enough oxygen through the nose. Both my kids were mouth breathers until their tonsils and adenoids were removed.
In terms of the childness about this person. Try to see if you can spend mroe time with him and observe his home life. I know there are some parents that think they're doing their kids a good thing by babying them at home and not treating them according to their birth age. Its not that he's got a mental problem or anything but he's stunted in his 1 on 1 peer relationships because he probably doesn't spend much time around kids being kids.
While he's involved in sports, he may be the kid who just goes, does what needs to be done, and then goes home to the security of what's there. His parents may not let him do pizza-night when friends, etc.
That may help identify what you see. But I have to agree with everyone else. Until you know more -- enjoy the person for what they have to offer you.
Take Care
CaringSister54
Sometimes the person's mouth is open because they can't get enough oxygen through the nose. Both my kids were mouth breathers until their tonsils and adenoids were removed.
In terms of the childness about this person. Try to see if you can spend mroe time with him and observe his home life. I know there are some parents that think they're doing their kids a good thing by babying them at home and not treating them according to their birth age. Its not that he's got a mental problem or anything but he's stunted in his 1 on 1 peer relationships because he probably doesn't spend much time around kids being kids.
While he's involved in sports, he may be the kid who just goes, does what needs to be done, and then goes home to the security of what's there. His parents may not let him do pizza-night when friends, etc.
That may help identify what you see. But I have to agree with everyone else. Until you know more -- enjoy the person for what they have to offer you.
Take Care
CaringSister54