Does it look bad if the groom has more family...?

S

snnowkitty

New member
We are drafting our guest list for our (hopefully) rather small wedding in April. I realized that there would be something like 65 people from my fiance's family compared to only about 30 or so (max - assuming they all make the 8-hour drive) of my family. I was planning to have around 100-120 people there, but does it look bad if my fiance's guests more than double mine? The issue is that his family is all located around here, while all of my extended family is in another state, and many of them are becoming less mobile due to age.
More disheartening to me is the fact that we don't have many friends to invite, so I am going to tell everyone that it is meant more for family, but I won't have much family there... :/
I guess I'm just a little depressed :(
Anyone else deal with this issue?
 
The groom definitely had more guests than me at my wedding. I had 4 friends total... he had about 15.

It made me sad that almost all of his friends and family came and so many of mine opted out, but what can you do? The wedding is just one day. However, we did avoid having "his side" and "her side" at the wedding. I'd suggest seating yours guests all together (if you have the option to), or move some of his friends to your side if you really want it to look balanced.
 
Don't feel bad. That is similar to us (only I was the one with double the family who lived locally).

Its not going to look bad, think of it like this "the more the merrier" :) And really no one is going to notice, if you want it to look more even during the ceremony you could just not have sides. Meaning people could sit anywhere.

As for friends, invite the ones you do have. We have a daughter, live outside the city, and work all the time. To say the least our list of friends have dwindled since most of them our age are still single and go clubbing etc, and we've become the old married couple with kids! lol But we still invited the friends we hang out with, as well as a few co-worker that we talk to all the time.

Good luck, and invite who ever you want. I wouldn't worry about the numbers. :)
 
Well don't feel bad. There is nothing wrong with that and especially since your family lives far away. Consider his family as yours now especially since you will be marrying the guy. The people coming are to support both of you i am sure so don't feel bad. I am sorry you feel like that but I don't think it matters. Your day will be special anyway.
 
it doesn't matter if he has more guests than you because no one bothers to check. guests have better things to do than sit and try to figure out who the bride invited and who the groom invited- there's food, dancing, drinking, cake etc.

don't assume someone can't attend because they're old or infirm or broke. invite everyone you really want to be there and let them decide if they can make the trip or not. otherwise if you leave them off the guest list because of your assumption, they will think it's for another reason like you're inconsiderate, you don't like them, etc. it's better for you to invite them so they don't feel excluded.
 
My fiance's family is more than twice as big as mine, and he also has about 3 times the number of friends than me. I couldn't have cared less. Nobody there knew enough to look around and count who was a friend of the bride vs. groom. We instructed the Ushers just to fill the seats evenly, we didn't do the Bride's side and the Groom's side. It was no big deal at all.
 
No need for you to be depressed....my family is not that large - 4 other siblings, and our mother, plus a few aunts & a couple of uncles - whose children were already grown when my older sister got married. It was a huge wedding - 75% of the guests were the grooms family.

Don't sweat it - those of your family members that can make it will probably have a good time. They may mingle, they may stick to themselves, but the whole point is for you and your fiance to enjoy your wedding day. That's why they are there. And if anyone has anything to say about the ratio, well it's not their wedding is it?

There is nothing in wedding etiquette that says that there has to be the same number of groom family as compared to the bride family. Besides - not everyone's family is locally located so don't worry. It will be fine.

Congrats on your upcoming nuptials. Good luck.
 
I didnt read any ones answers sorry, but thats how it is with us
My family is 53 and his 22, and thats just close family(parents, siblings and aunts and uncles and first cousins) if I get rid of 1st cousins on my side, my side is now 33, If we want to include EVERYONE, we would be at about 300 and 3/4 of them my family....
But we decided to keep it small and only have people we BOTH know. Which actually cuts both of our families down a bit.


If you want them all to come find a between location for your wedding or move it to "home" (where your family is) If you want move everyone using the train (amtrak), actually goes almost everywhere.

Funny thing is both our families live within 30 minutes to us....

Good luck and talk to your fiancee about this maybe he'll have a solution....
 
you're depressed? while writing our guestlist I discovered that I only have 14 members of family worth inviting! :S my fiance has about 30 people who he thinks will come (his family are scattered around scotland and america lol)..ggrrrrrrr ^^
I don't really think it matters that much though, I get on with his family well enough and most of our friends are 'OUR' friends now, so I plan to just enjoy the day without worrying about it :D
 
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