Does anyone on here ever just relax and enjoy things? Help please...

[PAUSA]

I went to a coffee shop last night with my husband and our 6 year old and I saw a lady and her husband in there drinking coffee, relaxing and laughing, having a wonderful time and I got so bummed. I would LOVE to just relax and not worry about things all the time. Does anyone on here ever just let themselves go enough to enjoy a cup of coffee with out worrying if it will make you jittery or anxious with heat palps or get a pain in your head and not think that something horrible is going to happen? I have no idea how to do it and I'm getting so frustrated. I can go for a few months with little to no anxiety, BUT I still have to avoid triggers or possible triggers big time which doesn't ever let me completely relax. I just don't know what to do and I'm so tired of missing out on so much because I'm not letting myself enjoy life. Advice?

 

[friendsville]

I'd say that you have some " low-grade" continual depression.It probably came with the territory.millions of people have it,I believe.You just need some help to
make you feel whole again.I take Ativan(Lorazapam) for periodic anxiety,and take
Paxil(controlled release a must)every day for depression.This is a short term disorder for you, I am sure.You will have better days,but please get some MD
help.They went through many years of study to keep us well. Luck Bill

 

[PAUSA]

I don't know that I'm actually depressed, I kind of feel just very annoyed by anxiety and having it so often. It's more that I don't do things in fear of getting anxiety than actually having the anxiety itself sometimes. I love to drink caffeinated coffee, but always worry that I'm going to have anxiety or heart palpitations if I drink it and I can't have decaf because I get headaches from the chemicals used in the process of making it decaf. Anyway, I guess it could be some slight depression, but if I could just get my anxiety and worrying in check and not have it be so in control of me all the time, I think I'd be one happy girl Thanks for your reply though.

 

[Leo123]

PAUSA,

Here is my advice if only I could do it for myself, I'm going to really start trying as of today and I'll tell you that what i;m about to say is how I finally recovered from my first bout of anxiety in my teenage years which was very very severe.


PAUSA, it sounRAB like you have a wonderful life a husband and a 6 year old kid, both of whom are healthy I beleive and I assume you are healthy and you know and I know this is just in your mind the next time you have try not think about (Which I know is easier said then done) or if you do get caught up in the scary thoughts just say God is charge and I'll be fine and when it's my time it my time, no sense in getting worried about something I can't do anything about.SCREAM THAT THOUGHT INTO YOUR MIND IF YOU HAVE TOO AND KEEP DOING IT UNTIL THAT IS ALL YOU THINK ABOUT WHILE YOU ARE HAVING YOUR ATTACKS AND EVEN WHEN YOU ARE NOT.

Just take the above line in bold OR some variation of it and everytime you have an anxiety attack keep on and keep on and keep on repeating that in your mind even as your going through it and I promise you in time they will slowly go away.

I'm actually going to start doing the same, no sense in worrying over nothing and especially something that you can't do anything about.


it sounRAB like you are at the point where you are just sick and tired about worrying and worrying about this stuff over and over again and just not being able to kick back and enjoy this awesome wonderful life God gave us.

Really if I remeraber correctly eventually that was another thing that got me out of my first major anxiety bout in my late teen from about 16 1/2 - 20. And that is evetually I got sick and tired of worrying about it all the time.

Just to quickly describe what kind of emotional stuff I was going through then, I thought at the time I was going totally crazy all sort of werid feelings made up and real were happening to me, I used to get so scared I can;t even describe the horror of what I felt. I never sought any phsycatric help even though I desperatley wanted to and I'm sure had I, I think I would definitley be on some type of mind drug today and still in the same boat I was in back then.

Just remeraber you are sick and tired of worrying about something you can;t do anything about. Oh you heart skipped a beat so what, oh it's racing keep saying to yourself I'm fine God is in control and whatever happens happend, keep saying it over and over again. I love life, and I want to live in peace. Over and Over and Over again, until one day they'll be gone.

I hope you give this a shot and hope it helps you out. beleive me I'm a totally normal guy if you meet me you would be surprised so please don't think I'm crazy by this post, I just know how you feel as I've told you I'm starting to get these mild anxiety attacks again and i'm just sick and tired of them as well.

Sorry for the long Post *Good Luck*

 

[writeleft]

Hello PAUSA,

Your threaRAB title caught me eye, and my answer is yes! You just might need to adjust your sources of enjoyment a little. You mention coffee in particular, knowing it has caffeine that will make you anxious...What if you forget the coffee, how about pie? Instead of making it about the coffee, make it about the time in the coffee shop, and sitting together in the booth, and laughing? Take away the triggers, and enjoy the coffee shop. Try it! You deserve it!

I hope that helps a little...:wave:

 

[PAUSA]

Thank Leo and Writeleft

I know that I just get upset because I used to be able to drink a whole pot of coffee and lay down and go to sleep if I wanted and now I worry about it all the time, but pie is good or so is a decaf tea or hot chocolate so maybe I will just try that sometime and see how it goes. I really do need to enjoy more and worry less.

Leo... I get exactly what you are saying to try and it makes complete sense. My mom and my aunt actually tell me the same thing all the time. They said that God is in control and I need to just enjoy every moment and focus on all the good in my life and not all the negativity and worry all the time. I'm so used to everyone taking care of me and fixing all of my problems for me, that this anxiety throws me for a loop because I'm the ONLY one that can fix it. I'm in total control of how I think and I can't seem to handle it. It's kind of strange since I'm such a control freak about everything around me and here I am not even able to control my way of thinking.

Hopefully my anxiety this time will just stay mild and I'll be over it in no time. I've been reading the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook off and on the past few months and he has so really great tips in there so I think it's time I try a few of those as well. Thank you guys

 

[tUrRrRa]

Leo123 gave a ton of great advice! This has helped me too. I've been reading Joel Osteen's motivational books and they have really been life-changing for me (sorry if that sounRAB corny, but it's true!). I just have to remeraber that everything happens for a reason and I have to go with the plan. I can't change my life plan God has for me. Worrying is actually wasting the time I could be spending doing something good for others.

Remeraber, it takes time to get to that happy place in life! Depression and anxiety do go hand in hand, with many different levels. I used to be depressed and anxious, then I felt that the depression was under control, but I'd still feel times when I just really had no motivation and joy and the anxiety would really get to me. I have been trying to schedule in little things here and there where I can do something FUN and relaxing. You need it!

I have taken up running. I've gotten in great shape and it's a great way to clear my mind and just run while listening to fun music. I also like to get regular pedicures and get my nails done. I can just sit and relax while getting pampered. It just makes me feel happy! For lunch breaks from work, I occasionally will take a good book with me and just go sit outside somewhere nice and read. It's a good escape from a stressful day in the office. I like funny books that let me escape from worrying and anxiety.

I try not to obsess about my health and just take good care of my body. I eat right and I exercise and watch out for anything abnormal. I just don't make it a conscious thought to look for things that could go wrong. I get tired a lot, so I enjoy the rush I get from anything with caffeine, so I guess it doesn't bother me for that reason. If I find myself worrying about anything or overthinking, I'll do something that makes me not think about it, like a sudoku puzzle. It lets me focus on something else and forget about it. I also like to play with my dogs with my fiance! The dogs always make me laugh. I also do take Prozac on a regular basis (it's been about a month and a half) and it's helped me too. I don't know if it's a coincidence, but the first day I started taking it, I felt a warm happy feeling out of nowhere. I don't always feel that way now, but I feel much better than before! I have made many improvements before Prozac, but I feel like it just put me a little more closer to how I want my life to be

Just take your time and make little changes as you can. It definitely takes time to be able to just sit and relax and enjoy things, but it's possible! I am finally getting there. It definitely doesn't mean that you will ALWAYS feel relaxed, because that likely won't happen for anyone, but the idea is that you can feel happy and relaxed at least a good portion of the time Best of luck to you!