Does anyone know any good jokes?

I'm feeling really down can you lovely people out there tell me some jokes to make me laugh. They don't have to be clean but please no racist ones.
Thanks xxxx
 
A duck walks into a bar and says "got any bread?"
"No" The barman answers.
"Got any bread?" the duck says again.
"Listen mate this is a bar, we sell drinks and if you say that again i'll nail your beak to the bar." he answers again
"Got any nails?" said the duck
"NO!" he answers
"Got any bread?" ...
 
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