Do you like this poem i wrote?

  • Thread starter Thread starter <3 my Chucks
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<3 my Chucks

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and do u guys have any ideas for a title???

He looked into the distance
And watched his friends fall
He knew he’d be next
He knew his family would bawl

It was okay though
Because he knew he’d achieved
What every boy wants
And every boy dreams

He fought for his country
And he did it well
He knew he’d be remembered
And that’s what was swell

He would be remembered
For all he’d done good
He would be remembered
As a soldier should
 
Sorry erm no not really.... very 6th gradish ... needs some heart and Emotion and more intelligence, much less

He might die!
Ya We'd Cry!
but you did good
as you should!

so if you get HIT!
we won't Forget!

YAY!!!!

.....that.........was sarcasm
 
Wow....
You know the blow of a punch to the face, really hard, when you don't expect it? That's what I just felt... Almost all the poems posted on Y/As are just lil emo poems, which I like, but wow, your poem has that "punch to face" meaning to it.. I really like it... I have a lot of friends in Iraq and going to Iraq, so it really has a strong meaning to it for me, and most liking to my friends who are in the Army who like poetry... Keep up the good... er, I mean, GREAT work
 
This is very good, it is touching, my father is in the army and i showed this to him and he says this is perfect.
very good job! :)
god bless
 
Hm mm...I think this is an excellent poem! Why couldn`t write a poem like that!? I think because i`m still a child...

...You can give it a name as A BOY TO REMEMBER...
 
wow
thats really good ***** 5 stars :)
maybe you could call it a 'soldiers fall', or 'rememberance of a soldier'.
 
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