...good lol? and from the darkness,
bitter sweet creeps,
love lost and broken,
she mourns and she weeps,
thus bleeds a shadow,
that covers the sun,
for she has not whispered,
a word to no one
it makes sense. and yes its pretty good. but youve used the wrong words in some spots. at the end no one should be anyone if you want it to be correct. and thus doesnt make much sense either. thus doesnt have any connection to she. you need a synonym for "she" that would still make sense within the placement. or you can just make it bleeding a shadow...
but all in all its pretty freakin good.
great job!
=)
