Do you like my poetry? :D?

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Rumplestilskin

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If you're going to use the King's English (and nothing wrong with that), you might want to learn the grammar of it ;-) Your second "thy" should be "thine" which would obviously throw off the ending in your second line. Read a lot more of the style and you'll get the hang of it
 
Thou quench thy thirst upon thy adversary’s lips
And drain brimming scarlet blood from thine.
Doth this day for validity slips
Respire fore thou shan’t pine.
To bequeath one’s desire and to muster abhor within
Besought thou hatred and cleanse thy mortal sin.

So, um.. I was aiming for a Shakespearean styled poem.. but I really don't know if this makes any sense whatsoever. I think the basic theme for this poem would be revenge... But I'd like to have your opinion please :)
A copy cat? Elaborate..
Plenty of people use to write Old English.. and some even do today! But I'm going through a process of learning and I'm definitely INCLINED to make grammatical errors. Why on earth do you think that school's would be required to teach students about Shakespeare if nobody even bothered experimenting with his work? Take Shakespearean sonnets.... plenty of people use that technique when writing poetry. Be reasonable... and think before you react.
Oh and by the way.. don't contridict me, when you, yourself are making atrocious GRAMMATICAL (with 2 m's) errors.
I'm only 14... give me a break. Thank you for your "advice" everyone...
 
If you're going to use the King's English (and nothing wrong with that), you might want to learn the grammar of it ;-) Your second "thy" should be "thine" which would obviously throw off the ending in your second line. Read a lot more of the style and you'll get the hang of it
 
I guess it's nice if you understand Shakespear language, which I definitely do not.

But you must be really good if you managed to make me not understand! (Y)
 
Sorry buddy...but you're a sheer copy cat....
yeah i'll say that again..."a copy cat"...i mean seriously if you do have an inclination towards poetry write something original without hacking styles from others...do something on YOUR OWN-USE YOUR OWN CREATIVITY
(AND YEAH GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES)
listen buddy...no need to get all worked up...i made a suggestion that's all...i didn't mean to say that people shouldn't experiment with other's works..but it seems to me that it's totally hacked from it. and yeah i never said that old english couldn't be used...or it's obsolete or something...you can use that, only use your "creativity"
Besides, the word "bequeath" -- that you used doesn't fit out here..i mean it doesn't make sense. Before you decide to write something feel the essence of the thing that you're about to write..don't just write it down without feeling it--it's just a magical feeling that you feel flowing inside you & you just put it down on the paper.
good buddy...stop gettin' worked up...i can see that you've got plenty of mistakes in your writing like "contradict" lol.
hey i just realized that considering that you're only 14 you're quite good at it
 
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