Do you like my poem? What should I change?

  • Thread starter Thread starter kiahgirl
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kiahgirl

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Stress
Its always surrounding us
like the air we breathe,
It takes hold when we least expect
and grasps us in its eminent wrath,
We think it cannot be escaped nor broken free of
no matter our courage or strength

It makes us feel inadequate and out of control
the same way a baby bird feels at first flight,
We cannot make sense of it
but have learned thats how it should be,
Our days seem long but time falls short
to short for us to feel free or at peace

Sometimes it becomes a cyclone
and we must ask the only one we trust for relief,
But even then our selfishness holds on
and darkness surrounds us,
So once again throwing up your hands and falling to the pavement
you plee,
Your cries are answered, the dark clouds lift
and you give thanks before the cycle repeats
 
I think you shouldn't change a thing about it because it is what you think and what feel toward it so be glad and be proud of your work. Good imagery and nice poem.
 
Wow that was very good i dont really think it needs anything changing it was very clear in showing how stress makes us feel and act
very good
it was a pleasure to read:)
...madovermusic...
 
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