Hey i need your opinion on this poem. It is still on like second draft and i know i don't have alot of talent but i am trying. It is kind of like the soul of the earth. the beginning and end are kind of choppy....Remember i am twelve and this is only the fourth or fith poem i have ever written. well besides stupid ones in like kindergarten. Sorry before my computer was messing up thats why my poem wasn't up. LOL sorry here it is-
~The river flows~
through valley, hill, and over stone
Alas, only it's Creator knows
It hath tasted blood and bone
It tells a tale of countless years
Of fear and sorrow, and many tears
Of strength and courage, and much repentance
Weary souls with heavy hearts
and sorrowful remembrance
All roles must play their parts
But not all do with worthy acceptance
It's journey is long and it can not delay
But worry not, it has also witnessed many a sunny day
where on its banks children play
and cast all their cares away
~The wind hath heard many screams~
of hearts bursting at the seams
of crushed hope and shattered dreams
of lost love and evil schemes
It hath also heard battle cries
The echo of which never dies.
It hath heard the chirps of birds
And the rain's gentle words
The wind hath heard much while riding through
Heavy storms and morning dew
Under rock, through branch and bough
Through thick and thin, and high and low
But alas! Only does it's Creator truly know...
~The earth shakes beneath many feet~
It has felt the sun's warm rays upon its surface
It has felt victory and defeat
But only does it's Creator know it's true purpose...
It has made tall mountains and low valleys
But fate will unveil its splendid finale
Alas, we must wait for that day
It may not be so far away...
But until then all things must run their course
At least until their Creator returns to take them back to their source
Back to the beginning, so they can start anew.
A new earth and a new beginning where the sky will be painted a new shade of blue...
~The river flows~
through valley, hill, and over stone
Alas, only it's Creator knows
It hath tasted blood and bone
It tells a tale of countless years
Of fear and sorrow, and many tears
Of strength and courage, and much repentance
Weary souls with heavy hearts
and sorrowful remembrance
All roles must play their parts
But not all do with worthy acceptance
It's journey is long and it can not delay
But worry not, it has also witnessed many a sunny day
where on its banks children play
and cast all their cares away
~The wind hath heard many screams~
of hearts bursting at the seams
of crushed hope and shattered dreams
of lost love and evil schemes
It hath also heard battle cries
The echo of which never dies.
It hath heard the chirps of birds
And the rain's gentle words
The wind hath heard much while riding through
Heavy storms and morning dew
Under rock, through branch and bough
Through thick and thin, and high and low
But alas! Only does it's Creator truly know...
~The earth shakes beneath many feet~
It has felt the sun's warm rays upon its surface
It has felt victory and defeat
But only does it's Creator know it's true purpose...
It has made tall mountains and low valleys
But fate will unveil its splendid finale
Alas, we must wait for that day
It may not be so far away...
But until then all things must run their course
At least until their Creator returns to take them back to their source
Back to the beginning, so they can start anew.
A new earth and a new beginning where the sky will be painted a new shade of blue...
