Please give me some opinions on them, I'm hoping to improve them a bit more. Thank you!
1. I used my heart to grow a tree that could protect you from the wind and the rain, but you chopped it into pieces of firewood to make fire. I used my love to make wings that could take you to heaven, but you used that fire you just made and cooked them into Kentucky Fried Chicken wings…
2. If being baptized means that I could one day meet you,
If praying every day means that I could get to know you,
And if going to church every Sunday means that we could fall in love with each other,
Then, for the sake of my happiness, I will… convert to Buddhism.
3. A guy walks into a bank to open a new account, and he asked one of the employees to fill in his form for him.
The employee asked him for his name,
and he replied: “Pe-Pe-Pe-Peter Ro-Ro-Rowen Gin-Gin-Gin-Ginsberg.”
The employee looked up from the form and asked: “I’m sorry sir, do you stutter?”
And the guy replies: “No, but my dad does, and the guy who filled in my birth certificate just wrote it down that way.”
4. A couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
A neighbor in his forties who lives close by came up the the old husband and asked: “Why is it that you can keep your marriage for 50 years? I’ve never heard you guys bicker before, and you guys never fight!”
The old man replied: “Oh we do argue sometimes, but it never gets out of hand. I learned this lesson while we were on our honeymoon in a quiet beautiful Asian countryside. I remember that transportation wasn’t all that great back then, and we ended up renting 2 donkeys to ride through the mountains. My wife noticed that her donkey was very lazy, and after a short while, it refused to keep walking, and decided to lie down. So my wife looked at it coldly, and said ‘First time.’ The second time the donkey got lazy, my wife pointed at it, and said ‘This is the second time.’ And when the third time the donkey stopped, my wife slowly took a small pistol out of her pocket, and shot the donkey in the head and killed it!”
Hearing this, the neighbor exclaimed: “Such a cruel heartless woman!”
And the old man said: “That’s exactly what I told her! I scolded her for it, but she didn’t argue back. She just looked at me coldly, and said ‘First time.’…”
1. I used my heart to grow a tree that could protect you from the wind and the rain, but you chopped it into pieces of firewood to make fire. I used my love to make wings that could take you to heaven, but you used that fire you just made and cooked them into Kentucky Fried Chicken wings…
2. If being baptized means that I could one day meet you,
If praying every day means that I could get to know you,
And if going to church every Sunday means that we could fall in love with each other,
Then, for the sake of my happiness, I will… convert to Buddhism.
3. A guy walks into a bank to open a new account, and he asked one of the employees to fill in his form for him.
The employee asked him for his name,
and he replied: “Pe-Pe-Pe-Peter Ro-Ro-Rowen Gin-Gin-Gin-Ginsberg.”
The employee looked up from the form and asked: “I’m sorry sir, do you stutter?”
And the guy replies: “No, but my dad does, and the guy who filled in my birth certificate just wrote it down that way.”
4. A couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
A neighbor in his forties who lives close by came up the the old husband and asked: “Why is it that you can keep your marriage for 50 years? I’ve never heard you guys bicker before, and you guys never fight!”
The old man replied: “Oh we do argue sometimes, but it never gets out of hand. I learned this lesson while we were on our honeymoon in a quiet beautiful Asian countryside. I remember that transportation wasn’t all that great back then, and we ended up renting 2 donkeys to ride through the mountains. My wife noticed that her donkey was very lazy, and after a short while, it refused to keep walking, and decided to lie down. So my wife looked at it coldly, and said ‘First time.’ The second time the donkey got lazy, my wife pointed at it, and said ‘This is the second time.’ And when the third time the donkey stopped, my wife slowly took a small pistol out of her pocket, and shot the donkey in the head and killed it!”
Hearing this, the neighbor exclaimed: “Such a cruel heartless woman!”
And the old man said: “That’s exactly what I told her! I scolded her for it, but she didn’t argue back. She just looked at me coldly, and said ‘First time.’…”