Do you judge women by their wedding/engagement ring?

[Proper Cup of Coffee]

When I became engaged, my husband presented me with a gorgeous ring. I love it (and him) dearly, but I believe I'm judged because of it.

It's a larger than average diamond in an emerald cut, so not many people have rings like this around where I live. I want to wear it all the time, because it is my wedding ring, but I feel like people are judging me all the time for it.

For example, I own a boutique and a woman came in the other day. She was shopping around, and wouldn't stop looking down at my hand with the ring on it. I don't wear any other rings except my wedding band.

She wouldn't stop staring at it and it was making me uncomfortable. It's not like she asked to see it, or commented on it or anything--- she was just staring at it.

I also have had women come in to my store, comment on my ring, leave and then bring back their friends so they could see my ring. This also made me extremely uncomfortable.

Things like this happen all the time, whether it's in the grocery store while I'm pushing a cart, or at the checkout line, etc... I feel like I either have to hide my hand or that I shouldn't wear the diamond ring.

It makes me upset because I feel like people are judging me and making me feel self conscious of wearing my ring. I would like to keep wearing it, but the looks I get from people are starting to bother me. I'm beginning to think I should just not wear the ring, but then I do want to wear it because my husband gave it to me and it has meaning.

I don't judge people on things like this-- I guess I don't get it.
I guess what I meant about people judging me was that they think I'm rich, spoiled, or both. It's really none of their business what I have, but I feel like they treat me differently because of this.

 

[Jason]

I have a hint that it's just envy. which is an ugly emotion. so that's why you're uncomfortable. If it gets bad for you, get a safe deposit box at the bank and keep it there. Replace the rock w/ a simple gold band. Then when you two go out to dinner, party, special occassion, pick up the ring at the bank and wear it for the night. No need to be shy or not to be pround of that ring.

 

[Eibhlinn Savage]

I can see why you would think you are being judged, but from the description you make it's really hard to guess what these women are all thinking. Personally I believe they're just in awe in front of your ring: specially the ones that bring their friends in to see it. Women just like beautiful things. Also they might just be looking at your ring and thinking of theirs and feel their husband is a cheap j*rk! It's in all probability nothing to do with you or a judgement on you at all.

If a few of them do think you're a rich and spoiled woman, well you should just ignore it. This ring is a symbol of your husband's love and commitment whether it's big or small. My own engagement ring is a small solitary diamond on a simple white gold band. Nothing really expensive of fancy, but it means the world to me because it's my engagement ring. You should feel the same about yours even though it might be ridiculously oversized (I don't know I haven't seen it. My point is you're right to love it). Don't worry about what other women might think.

 

[pamela]

Wear it with pride!!! If people find the need to comment on it, shift the attention to your loving husband who was so kind enough to give you something so beautiful. To the wordless gawkers, look at them with a surprised air, hold up your hand and say something like "Oh, this? My husband worked so hard for me to have this, it's so beautiful!"

 

[fizixx]

I realize you don't 'flaunt' your ring, but this is how some people would 'see' it. People don't like having things flaunted at them that they do not, or cannot have. That's not your fault, but it's human nature.

Love isn't based on money, riches or material value, but somehow people think it is....why is that? Love does go beyond the wallet....doesn't it?

People can be very, very childish and petty. It's all about money in our world today. It shouldn't be, but it is unfortunately. People have a warped sense of entitlement. They feel they 'deserve' things like that, regardless if they do or not.

People see others with nice things and usually assume they got it thru nefarious means. We all know how so many companies and CEOs and so on stole all our money and our govt not only let them get away with it, turned around and bailed them all out. So....average people are sour on 'wealthy' people.

Most women want those great BIG rocks on their fingers....men know that. Some men can/want to get them, and some woman can/do get them. The ring is what is important, not the size or type stone. People are warped about that too. It *should* be enough that you have someone you dearly love. However, for whatever reason, you now have a huge rock on your finger.....and you have to deal with the consequences of having it.

Material things are quite unnecessary and useless in the long run. There are far more important things in life that 'things'. Most items of value are hollow and carry prices most people are too short-sighted to understand, or realize. Success is not about how much money you have or whatever, but people think it is. It's a shame on either side of the coin you're on. If you appear wealthy.....then you are what you appear to be.

You didn't steal the money from the bank, but you look like the crook, people suddenly want to hang you because of it.

People should be aware of these things and make more prudent choices in their lives, but.......

Good luck to you