Do you have any good jokes for Happy Hump Day 9/23/09?

  • Thread starter Thread starter tjcmstables
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tjcmstables

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Guess my old brain doesn't work too well at night. But better late than never? Keep it clean like this:

THE MOMMY TEST

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," I was thinking quickly, " All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.

jcm (Janet)
 
A blond, a brunette and a redhead are being held captive and are about to be shot. first, they lined up the brunette, and the fire squad captain shouted "ready-" but the brunette cut him off and yelled "TORNADO!" everyone ran for cover and the brunette escaped. they did the same with the redhead, but she too, cut him off and yelled "EARTHQUAKE" and everyone ran for cover and she escaped. then, they brought the blonde forth and the captain shouted "READY! AIM!" but the blonde cut him off and yelled "FIRE!"

A priest, a terrorist, and a milk man were in a plane. the pilot suddenly announced over the intercom "we are having complications, to lighten the load of the plane, we ask that every passanger throws out one of there belongings" the priest throws out his cross necklace, the milkman throws out a crate of milk, and the terrorist throws out a bomb. when the plane landed safely, everyone went on their way. the priest soon came upon a little boy crying. "my dear boy, whatever is the matter?" The little boy sniffed and said "i was walking out of the building when i cross necklace fell on my head!"
the milk man came across a little girl bawling, "what's the matter kid?" through tears she explained that she had walked out of the building when a huge crate of milk fell on her.
the terrorist came across a boy laughing hysterically and rolling around in the grass. "what on earth is so funny?" he asked, "i walked out of this building and farted, and the whole building exploded!!"
 
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