Do you ever feel like

R

Rashim

New member
That life is just wasting your time?

If you ignore the obvious paradox of existence being a waste of time...


I just dont see the point sometimes. I drift. I tried not drifting, drifting is easier, but much more depressing. I find the alternative to drifting seems to just end up disappointing me. Things never turn out quite like you hope they would, and more often than not just go to shit. So is it better to be depressed, or to be disappointed?

Obviously, I need some antidepressants according to textbooks, but I tried that for a while and it worked well but I just dont want to go back to that. I'm fine when things go my way, and depressed when they don't. I'm not entirely convinced that's not normal. I was on antidepressants (SSRI's) for anxiety, not depression.

Perhaps I am too much of a pessimist, which perhaps explains why I'm hardly motivated to do anything anymore. Life is just a waste of time.

That's my emo moment of the day, to a bunch of internet strangers. Tomorrow I put my gameface back on and go back to being Mr Blackheart. Just to go another day waiting for an oppurtunity, or even a gift, and everyday comes and goes and I get neither.

Oh well, at least I have my friends.

Oh wait... :rolleyes:

I've been crossed by too many people in the last 2 years, I'm fucking sick of it. Maybe I should move to another town or something. :rolleyes:

All my friends have moved, betrayed me, or just generally exposed themselves to be untrustworthy douchebags. It's hard to take stuff like that in stride, though I've managed pretty well. But just ignoring the fact that you're depressed and going on with your life will catch up with you sooner or later, and I feel like it's finally starting to catch up with me.

I guess things will get better eventually, they usually do. But somehow you always end up lower than you were when you started after it's all over. But the strange thing is, I'm not really that depressed, just disenchanted and disappointed. It's a weird feeling and Im not entirely sure THAT is normal... I'm so jaded at this point that little things dont affect me because Im always in this mediocre state of mild annoyed disappointment. SO what does it matter that I gave up on my asshole friend, that I'm tired of being patient with my SO, that I'm tired of trying to be motivated to get through school, that going to work every damn day is getting old...

I'm tired of fighting to keep my girl, I've given up on her. I hope she enjoys herself. I'm tired of putting aside my own feelings for my friends because they dont realize the absurdity/rudeness of their own comments towards me, I'm tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt every single time. I'm tired of my job, but I cant be bothered to go find another one, so I just keep going.

None of it matters, it all just sucks. Everything fades into the negative side of mediocrity...

I apologize to anyone who read this far. :rolleyes: There are plenty of you out there with real problems, I apologize for, in my own way, trivializing them.
 
My car and guitar playing are more or less my therapy these days. My car always makes me smile.

THose two things together get me by most of the time, but there's more to life than a car, and I LOVE my car, I worked my ass off to get it, but it's not the path to true happiness.

I wish you could buy happiness sometimes.
 
How is that a paradox? It actually makes perfect sense.

Life is pointless, get used to it. But there are a few good things that come along now and then.
 
Figure if one relies on externals (friends, car, job, etc.) for a baseline of happiness, one is rather doomed to disappointment. The only thing responsible for sustained contentment is oneself.

You don't have to put on a happy face for others. It does make it easier to make new friends if one isn't constantly a complete downer, but being yourself will weed out the superficial.

Unless one is born to inherited wealth, having a job is a fact of life. Yes, sometimes it's boring, and sometimes downright annoying, but the trick is to find a means of gainful employment that either uses skills one has, or one is willing to learn, and if you're very lucky, finding something you actually enjoy or like doing and getting paid for it. While you're still financially responsible for only yourself is the perfect time to explore options.

So buck up. Be sad if that's the way you feel. Be happy if the sunset makes you smile. It's your choice. Your attitude is the one thing over which you have complete control.
 
Every single person in this world needs something to help them. For you it's your car and your guitar. For me it's the exact same thing, but not necessarily the car as much as the thrill of driving crazy. People who cut, who almost commit suicide don't usually have something that they can use as therapy.

About your girl, sometimes it's better if you let them fight for you. Don't necessarily give up, just stop being on your knees at her every need and make her catch up with you type thing.

I made a thread like this when I first joined asking the meaning of life. Out of all the WTF?! people there was one quote that I absolutely loved. "Life is a game. The object of the game, like most games, is to win. You win by being the one who has the most fun. There are several different strategies you can use to achieve this. You can fuck up other people's games so they have less fun, or you can try alot of different things and find out what you find to be fun, and do that alot." ---steelasp

Life isn't a waste of time because life is about you. It is about making you happy, doing what you enjoy. Here's the thread if you wanna go over the whole thing here.

I know what you mean though. No one in my life stays with me, not even my friends or family. They all leave, it's nothing to get disappointed in, anyone who keeps a friend for life has an extrodinary blessing. Don't let people push you around, even your friends.

Life is about being happy. Not being successful, not being moral, not being religious, not being nice. Those are ways to BE happy, but you should only do what you want to do to be happy. If a better job makes you happy then you should do that. I'm not sure, but it sounds like you are doing a lot of things that make you unhappy, or you aren't doing enough things that make you happy.

Also, never be afraid to posts problems in here, it doesn't matter if someone else has bigger problems or not, if your problem isn't that big them people just won't bother to read or respond to it. :thumbsup:
 
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I am out of my mind drunk but damnit I'm gonna post anyway.

Your life if what you make of it. If you think it's a waste of time, then fuck you. It's a waste of time.

If you aren't happy with your life I suggest you get up off that cucking couch and change it. Go get an education, change your career, fuck someone else...

Just step up and OWN your life. It is the only one you are ever gonna have so make the best of it.
 
Here's a thought:

WHY DONT YOU GET OFF YOUR PATHETIC, WHINING, EMO FUCKING ASS AND MAKE SOMETHNG MATTER?

Then we wouldn't have to listen to your idiocy.

Fucking kids these days, you are all a bunch of whiny pussies. Oh, the world doesn't love me, Oh, I don't think I exist, OH NOES! Nothing I do matters

Thats because you are fucking lazy. Your mind is lazy, your heart is lazy, your soul is lazy.

I might not do/have much, but I have my words and my children, and they matter.


And whoever told you life is about being happy fucking LIED to your ass. There is no life without pain. There is no light without darkness. No sunshine without sunset.

Life is about trying. Its about the struggle. Life is about the JOURNEY. Not the destination. Happiness is an end-state. Its how you get there that matters.
 
You make a lot of assumptions for someone who doesnt know me. I work full time and pay for myself to go to school. I'm about to turn 22. Whether that makes me a whiny emo kid from "These days" I ahve no idea. I'm barely 7 years younger than you and in my experience most people I know plateau in maturity somewhere around their early 20s. Beyond that their ego matures more than their attitude. There are more thoughtful ways of saying "Take your life into your own hands" than the way you put it.

Either way, there's a point to be made about making your own luck and fortune, which is very much what I believe myself. That's why I lost 100 lbs my first year of college, that's why I got over my social anxiety disorder and decided to go to therapy, (with the help of Zoloft, which I later decided I didnt want/need anymore), and that's why I at the tender age of 20 got my first job. I'm a late bloomer, because I had my own mental issues to work out in the meantime. I had to drag myself out of my own depressed hell and I worked damn hard to do it t get to where I am today.

I consider myself mostly normal, aside from my bad hearing and mildly pessimistic attitude. I can hold a conversation with a stranger without having a panic attack. I can walk outside of my house and not be uncomfortable. I can talk to girls calmly, I can play guitar in front of people without getting absurdly stiff. It's HARD to get past all that, and unless you've dealt with it you may not understand. Either way, I managed to pull myself out of that, and I've come a long way.

What depresses me, is that for all the progress I've mad and the money I've made, and the schooling I've completed, I dont seem that much better off than I was 3 or 4 years ago sitting around being depressed about myself. I took teh effort to step out of my safety bubble and put myself out there. A lot of new friends, a couple of bands, a few Relationships, a few jobs, and a school or two later, I feel like I'm back where I started. That's what frustrates me.

But either way, you can take your condescending attitude and shove it up your ass.
 
Your post makes you a whiny emo kid. Not your age, your job, or any other irrelative material.

I mean, what did you expect from life? Cheerios?

Life is hard. Life is pain. It is also joy and love and happiness.

Your life is not better because you judge your life by the things and people around you. Not by who you are. That is why I think you are lazy. You define your existence by the physical surroundings, and not by the internal spirit that exists in every person. Only thing is, like most people, you think that spirit comes from other people, other belongings, money, and tooty fucking fruity. It does not come from any of those things.

As far as shoving my condescending attitude up my ass, I can't do that, there's no room with the family of multicolored dildos I shoved up there earlier. And if you take anything I say as condescending, you weren't fucking listening, lazy boy.
 
I am very proud of who I am and of my general worldview. I have no problems with that.

Just for some reason, I cant get by on sheer narcissism alone.

I never cared much for money. I only want enough money to finance my forays into messing with my car and my guitar.
 
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