Do you appreciate what you've got? Please comment and rate my poem - thanks?

Andres

New member
That is really, really good! 5 out of 5!
I would give you more detailed feedback, but it's hard to do it here.
Why don't you go to www.donotread.webs.com?
The other members and I can help you shape your poem until it's perfect. You can even get it published.
 
That is really, really good! 5 out of 5!
I would give you more detailed feedback, but it's hard to do it here.
Why don't you go to www.donotread.webs.com?
The other members and I can help you shape your poem until it's perfect. You can even get it published.
 
Appreciation

Jeannie came a calling, she called for me last night
Just as I was drifting, she filtered back in sight
Skipping through my day dream, she took me by surprise
Standing with her skipping rope, with laughter in her eyes

Jeannie was an only child, she didn't need to share
Mum and Dad had so much time, with plenty more to spare
Sadly I felt jealous, having rotas for my turn
Seeing her through jaundiced eye, my cheeks would often burn

Jeannie lived adjacent, our homes were really near
Such a pretty, happy child, her life was full of cheer
Her Mum and Dad adored her, arranging all our play
After tea and in the park, for games we met each day

But then the spell was broken, her Mum got sick and died
Jeannie was real lonesome and often then she cried
Her house became so empty, devoid of joy and song
How she loved our noisy home and all the busy throng

Only two months later, they left for Morecombe Bay
For a while we kept in contact, but letters went astray
I missed my friend so dearly and all the fun we had
Recalling then my envy which made me feel so bad
 
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