so saint peter is closing the gates of heaven when this guy runs up and and says "Whoah what are you doing I gotta get in there tonight, I've been waiting out here all day and I can't wait any longer to get in." St. Peter replies "i'm sorry dude, I gotta get home my wife is waiting for me, dinner is on the table I haven't seen my kids all day..I gotta go." So the dude is like "Surely you can find it in your heart to cut me some kind of deal so I can get in." St. Peter is like "Ok if you can tell me an interesting story on how you died I will let you in."
"I'm the leader of the New York Mafia, I am respected and feared widely but Imagine this -- I suspected my wife was having an affair behind my back and I wanted to find out the truth. I came home from work one day to surprise her and catch her in the act. When I searched the house I found her in the bathroom. The mirror was fogged and she had a towel on but her hair wasn't wet, so I knew she wasn't taking a shower. I looked all around the house to find the guy. I found ten fingers hanging onto the window sill outside. so i started stomping on them until he finally let go. When he fell he landed in some bushes and God must have loved him because he lived, so I threw the refrigerator out the window to finish him off. After all the excitement I fell dead of a heart attack."
After a good laugh St. Peter tells the man, "ok ok that was pretty good go on ahead and go in."
He starts closing up again when another guy comes up and is like "Hey man, I gotta get in there!" St. Peter once again explains he is late for dinner and his wife is going to kill him if he is late one more time this week. The second man says "I saw that sweet deal you gave that other guy, surely you can give me the same deal." St. peter agrees and the man begins.
"Imagine this -- I'm minding my own business on top of my apartment building. I was riding one of those stationary bicycles when the screws gave out and I flew off the side. I reached out and caught a window sill four stories below, then some idiot started stomping on my fingertips. When I fell I landed in some bushes and God must have loved me because I lived. But then that same idiot threw his refrigerator out the window and it crushed me."
St. Peter tells him, okay that was pretty good go ahead and go in.
A third man comes up, and without hesitation St. Peter says "Okay let's hear it."
The third man says, "Imagine this...I'm hiding in the back of a fridge naked."
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