Just tryin' to help
New member
I've always thought not, but here's the story:
My sister, B, was engaged years ago (6, I think?) and found out her fiance was a drug dealer. She broke it off with him. My brother, E, was good friends with the guy, druggy. (E was into drugs himself at the time.)
E has straightened himself out, met a great girl, got engaged and is planning a 2010 wedding. HOWEVER, E is still 'best friends' with the druggy. At first he tried to hide it, but since E is the favorite in the family, my parents supported him and his friendship with the druggy. (Who, by the way, has NOT straightened out.)
E's fiancee is a great girl. She has complained about going on vacation with the druggy friends, introduced E to new and GOOD friends, and generally avoided the past life. She has a professionally licensed job which she would lose in a heartbeat if associated with the druggy (who is well known by her co-workers).
So now E wants to have druggy as his best man. He says he will talk to B first and find out how she feels, but E has always been selfish and will do what he wants regardless.
In all of this, I am B & E's younger (yet older) sibling. I have always been the one to give advice. I was there to pick up the pieces and glue together B's life after druggy. I was the one who helped E through rehab without my parents' knowledge. Can I talk to E about his choice? (I found out when E told my husband, who told me.) Should I talk to the fiancee and ask her to convince him of his stupidity?
The whole situation is frustrating beyond belief. It doesn't help that E is completely self-centered in every area except his fincee.
Yes, I know it's their wedding. But I have never believed in the "It's my day, I'll do it my way" attitude. Weddings are about celebrating with family and friends, not about pretty dresses or flowers or cakes...or brides & grooms who don't care what their decisions do to others.
My sister, B, was engaged years ago (6, I think?) and found out her fiance was a drug dealer. She broke it off with him. My brother, E, was good friends with the guy, druggy. (E was into drugs himself at the time.)
E has straightened himself out, met a great girl, got engaged and is planning a 2010 wedding. HOWEVER, E is still 'best friends' with the druggy. At first he tried to hide it, but since E is the favorite in the family, my parents supported him and his friendship with the druggy. (Who, by the way, has NOT straightened out.)
E's fiancee is a great girl. She has complained about going on vacation with the druggy friends, introduced E to new and GOOD friends, and generally avoided the past life. She has a professionally licensed job which she would lose in a heartbeat if associated with the druggy (who is well known by her co-workers).
So now E wants to have druggy as his best man. He says he will talk to B first and find out how she feels, but E has always been selfish and will do what he wants regardless.
In all of this, I am B & E's younger (yet older) sibling. I have always been the one to give advice. I was there to pick up the pieces and glue together B's life after druggy. I was the one who helped E through rehab without my parents' knowledge. Can I talk to E about his choice? (I found out when E told my husband, who told me.) Should I talk to the fiancee and ask her to convince him of his stupidity?
The whole situation is frustrating beyond belief. It doesn't help that E is completely self-centered in every area except his fincee.
Yes, I know it's their wedding. But I have never believed in the "It's my day, I'll do it my way" attitude. Weddings are about celebrating with family and friends, not about pretty dresses or flowers or cakes...or brides & grooms who don't care what their decisions do to others.