disrepectful environment.. always

S

soccer princess♥

New member
I'm a college student, so I guess it's kind of assumed. But it seems like everyone looks down at me. I'm twenty years old and very intelligent, just not on the subjects my age group focuses on. Everyone treats me as though "i have a lot to learn" about different situations or ideas. In everyone's tone of voice or the way they speak to me, it's very obvious that they consider me very different from themselves and those around them. I'm not super geeky, but I do have a Mac, and an iPhone and all these different gadgets etc. which I utilize a lot of the time, maybe this makes people think I like being alone or something? But I drink, I party, I go out. I just don't do these things EVERY night. For instance, I drank too much one night and threw up. Seems like a pretty normal college thing right? Well, because I don't do this every single night, and use words like "faggot" and "homo" as negative things, I won't fit in anytime soon.

I feel like I'm too nice. I really never criticize someone unless I know them really well. Maybe I give off an aura that encourages people to walk all over me...

Just now for instance, I went to get water from the fridge and the whole room went quiet when I entered the room and they all become very awkward towards me, treating me like the younger brother of the group. Asking me questions like what I did for my night behind a closed door where I was spending with my significant other. While we were sitting and talking, they were tying the door shut and talking about how we were banging. Tonight's big topic is anal sex and whatever else they've done.. (ten fingers)

I swear, if they get too drunk one night and break something of mine, heads will roll. I'm a minimalist and own very little, I like to be organized and the very very few things I own are expensive and delicate.
 
:ditto:

I used to feel that way, but often it's not because of you, but because they were just interrupted in a conversation.

Meanwhile, if you walk around like you notice these things, people will pick up on that and the atmosphere will get awkward. You are not a geek by owning a bunch of gadgets. You like what you like. You find those things useful, then more poser too you! I find them useful myself and I don't see anything wrong with using them. I did own a mac for a long time before I went back to PC. Now I like Macs, though I just haven't had the need to buy another one at this time. Those iphones are cool! I tend to like the high tech stuff myself.

Basically, what I'm trying to say, is like who you are. If you see somethign about yourself that YOU want to change, then by all means, go ahead, but do it only for yourself. If people really are looking at you strangely or treating you in some odd way, then who cares? Are you trying to live for their amusement? No. Should you really care if they find you fascinating to the point where they must stare and talk about you? No. I got through a ton of awkwardness from the people around me. I became a loner in school because I didn't like the people in my class because they had nothing in common with me, not to mention they'd treat me like an outcast. I learned to enjoy it. I was my best company. I can't let myself down no matter what I do. I like the same things as myself and I enjoyed my own company. I found that I could then choose my friends that I felt safe with. There were few of them, but they were real friends. There's no reason to want to please anyone else. I am a people pleaser, and I would at some points let others walk all over me, but once I realized it, I stopped and I set limits to what I was willing to do for others. I'm still there for my friends and I'm a loyal person to those who really are my friends, but those that aren't, I set my limits. I'm not walking on eggshells for someone that I know treats me like crap. That's called self-respect. So please, stop worrying about what others think about you and like who you are.
 
The hilarious thing kid is that when you finally really stop giving a shit about what people think about you, it has this instinctual effect on the other human monkies and they begin to find you far more interesting... especially the ladies. :D
 
What everyone else said.... Do you really want to fit in with the crowds that get wasted everynight, are homophobic, etc...

That's your choice, but I would just advice to stay who you are, and stop paying attention of what others think of you.
 
All good advice.

And yes, I do worry about things a bit much, but I'm very good at reading people, and I suppose I pick up on small things quite a bit.

I do like being alone, but I've been on my own and have been supporting myself (other than some school bills) since I was 18, and since junior year in high school I haven't really had any close friends. So I guess maybe its just been a little too long.

I do really like who I am, I'm proud of who I've grown to be, but my individuality seems to give something off. I do notice it, even other people notice it. For instance, I worked at a CD store for a while, and my boss talked down to me left and right and treated me like shit, but treated everyone else really well. Everyone told me they felt bad she picked on me, and just assumed it was coincidence that she chose me to give a hard time. It seems everyone chooses me...

It's ironic because all the ideas everyone shits on and all my opinions everyone disagrees with usually turn out to be the better idea or the right answer etc. But no one's ever around to see that I'm right or smart.. I talked to a few psych experts and they said behavior like this directed towards others usually means they hate themselves or are self destructive and it shows in actions towards others. I guess I would agree because a lot of the people who give me a hard time seem to have a very shitty life themselves. (everyone who works at the CD barely make rent each month, so pretty much everyone hated me when I bought my iPhone. Sorry that I save money and don't buy drugs every night :rolleyes:)
 
I see nothing wrong with being pissed when someone with more money than you spends it on something as frivolous as an iPhone. My reasoning is this: if they know you have it, you either showed it off or flashed it at them. No one is going to be happy with that shit, especially not if you're doing better than the people you're working for.


Sure, it's not fair that that treat you like shit (maybe even before that), but life isn't fair and I'm not going to blame them for being pissed.

Short version: you don't need a $300 apple Phone, yet you have one. They work at the same store and barely afford what they DO NEED. I'd be pissed too.
 
To me that says, "I'm feeling left out".



That's what people often say when they are unsure of how to communicate with others. The problem with "reading" people instead of communicating with them is, unless you have been trained to do so, you are likely "reading" them inaccurately. If you don't stop to ask your subject if you have "read" them correctly, you will never know how right you are.

The problem then escalates as the people in your life attempt to interact with the false image you have constructed of them based on assumptions. Once you begin creating images of people, your ego will manipulate their actions to fit into your interpretation of them.

Let others be themselves just as you would like to be yourself in their eyes.
 
I got the 4G refurbished, then they dropped the price $150 and gave me a refund of that amount. It came out to almost nothing and I sold my phone and my iPod to get it.. I think I actually made money.

As for reading people, I don't create images, I'm just good at recognizing certain emotions and can usually give a pretty good estimate of what their thought process is on a given topic. This is because of education I've received and lots of experience in working with children and development of the brain. (the whole reading thing was a side point anyways)

The point I was making was being myself doesn't seem to agree with people. This won't change who I am or how I act, I'm only expressing how it sucks when being yourself means being alone.
 
Yeah, exactly. I'm so frustrated I can't find anyone to get a good connection with. I'm moving to Boston in a few months and will be there for at least 4 years or so. I guess the only reason I haven't minded the ridiculous people around here is because I've been planning to move for a while so even if I made friends, I'd be leaving them.

I did have a tight knit group a few years ago. But in the same year all five of them moved.
 
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