Disgusted

S

sherita

New member
I really do hate to say this..but I know how you feel.

I'm glad you haven't
cut yourself because that is no way to go..
How I came out of the whole and how I haven't fallen down in it now for a while is, I remember how it was to be down, depressed, alone, having anxiety filling your body and your mind telling yourself "they don't want to hear your small problem, they have their own problem more important then yours!"




I can see myself in that too, I may even do it today. I became emotionally cold, if I was on an outburst to cry and scream, I just smiled and swallowed the feeling..NO GOOD, it just dug me deeper in the whole I almost ended up dead in.

and I'm so happy you are trying to find yourself and please rant here if something is on your mind. Don't give up, although it feels like just words that are coming out of a person that doesnt know you or know how you feel. But I can feel alittle how you feel, I've cried alot of times and almost given up but..somehow Ive survived, I really don't know how. I find therapists useless..those whom Ive been too..they just pretend to know but don't know anything at all.. hope you have better over there..or then just post here :)

now my post got long too..:happysad:
 
Zoloft, to say the least, I have felt that way aswell, most of the time actually, I get that feeling where you really have to put it all away, because you can't blurt it out.
I never bother people with my problems, because I'm always there for them, and when it comes to me I have learnt they really only care about their problems, like you said, and also I just don't want to be a bother, or a damper on them.

I kept a lot in me from my past, and I have never gotten it out fully, that's why it comes out the way it does with me sometimes.

Anyways, Stardust is right, some people actually are interested in how you feel etc, and want to help, like me.
And, not everyone is the same, although, I hate to say it a lot of them are, but some really do care about other people.

One day, you will get through this, but it needs a lot of work.

Anytime you need to talk, Quite a few people are here to listen. :)
 
MIA.. i have the utmost respect for you and your overtly sensible posts, if i can i might add to the above statement, and to carry on the theme of my previous posting, that if someone doesn't ever fully get through this/recover/find joy it is still ok, it really is.. as well documented as it is i will repeat that i am really really old by forum standards and i still have mental stability issues regarding my mood (emo dad?).. some people make it to their 8os with depression, and that's ok.. we are obviously special in other ways and just because we don't smile every time we see a puppy doesn't mean we are lost causes or should have to take horse tranquilisers..
we live in modern times, with a lot of leisure time, and thus we tend to ponder on our insecurities more than previous generations.. we are almost like lotus eaters compared with our grandparents generation, they were just as mixed up and complex as we are but they had little time to agonise, this isn't meant to be harsh on anyone.. i am there too but i have come to terms with being a little bit 'damaged goods'.. :)
 
Most definately, I understand that, and of course people can live with depression, I have seen loads of people do it, I meant as such where she gets the feeling of where she just wants to give up, and she could probably level it out where you don't get to the point of just sitting in a heap too depressed to move. (Not saying Z is, BTW)

Because, If I have learnt anything it's, really you are the only one who can do anything about yourself.
 
the key to bein happy is not caring. i used to give a fuck about other people and what they thought about me, but then i realized that they are assholes, so i decided to be a bigger asshole back
 
and when that ego cracks, as it will.. (most people have at least one ego death in their lifetime..) you will be defenseless.
far more prudent to build strength through humbleness and humility..
 
I tried that being a bigger asshole back strategy for a couple years. Trust me, it doesn't work.

You're better off just letting people be themselves. So what if they're fucking stupid. They're hopeless. Hopeless people who lie constantly and play pranks on people because it makes them feel better. They take drugs to hide their emotions. I say fuck all that. I'd rather be miserable and know who I am and where I stand than ever try to fake happiness.

Being depressed is okay. ;)
 
not caring and shutting the door on everyone is a path to more problems, i think. when you succeed in offending everyone, you are alone and only have more time to reflect on these negative experiences. regret and deeper depression are surley ahead on that road. not caring to a certain extent is good, but saying/feeling that just as a means to avoid problems is unhealthy. (this coming from a guy that has been a dick to many on this site, but real life is quite different...for me at least)

i'd recommend finding something to pour your energy into. some type of hobby and it need not be something that eats up your budget. while practicing, researching, enjoying your hobby, you will most likely find others who are also seeking out similar knowledge and you will develop relationships with people who are bound to have something in common with you. they might even be having similar concerns and can become confidants. with more than the woes of life in common, you can start to change the amount of time devoted to how bad things are, to how you both enjoy and get pleasure from _____________.

meeting new people and trying new things can be a hurdle, but most of us have the same concerns...'i'm too old to seek out new friends...new hobbies..new things in general..will i be accepted?" some in here can attest to this....reflect back 5 years and say, 'what if i would have tried ___________, studied ____________, practiced/learned _____________....where would i be now?'
you just get older, but you still have the same feelings. people aren't so bad, but you have to be picky...well, i am.

an idle mind can be the biggest foe when these thoughts of self worth arise. if you are busy with something else, you are learning, experiencing and self esteem will be increased....not always, but more than not. having people to share that with can enrich the experience, but they are not necessarily needed.

group hug.
 
I think you're confussing caring what people think about you and caring about other people. They are two very different things.


Of course you don't need to care about what people think of you, because other people can't judge who you are as a person, only you can.

Now, about caring about other people, you need some of the time, we have enough of that already, where other people really couldn't care less if they hurt someone, even if they are the scum of the earth, you have to think they have to go home everyday living with themselves like that. Not you.
 
:cool: WARNING: LONG ASS RESPONSE! :cool:​


i think i may be able to contribute on both sides of the story here. i am both cronically depressed and on the flipside, i've always (for some reason unknown to me) have attracted friends who are extremely needy. when we talk, it's all about them. they call me when things are really tough, cry on my shoulder, dump everything on my lap, or want me to help them feel better. the types that only call you when something is wrong; and never sincerely inquire about how i am doing.

i noticed this awhile back, and so, i got rid of most of them. the only ones left are mild shades of those types and i feel a hell of a lot better for doing it. my point? be sure you are not this type of person, if you are, you may be unreasonably and selfishly asking people to do for you, what you are incapable of doing for them. -and thats just not fair- (and it may be that you are willing but essentially unable).

being supportive and helpful to others is ingrained in my nature. it is who i am but there is only so much a person can overlook, or take until they get sick of constant whining, pissing, and moaning; no one runs a mental charity! i don't this is a cruel world that we live in. however, because there was a time when i did believe the same as you Zoloft, i can sympathize.

in essence, when you are ready to become a happier person...
when you are ready to take the neccessary steps to improve your existence... you will find there are so many people waiting to assist so that you may achieve a better, fuller, quality of life. whether they'd be professionals, friends, or a combination there of. they are there, you just have to look for them but they're not going to come knocking on your door.

GL
 
I totally agree, there is only so much a person can help someone else without the other person taking consideration of the person who takes all their problems in stride.
 
WOW! A big Horaay! WTF shows that it can be sensible and supportive! I am so glad you folks did the right thing above, it actually helps keep hope alive. You guys and gals are great!

Mad Props to my homies on WTF! :thumbsup:
 
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