Discussing Sex with Virgin Female Friend?

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ryan o

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One of my best friends is a 22 year old tomboyish girl named Karen. She is attractive in a plain sort of way, but isn't a dress or skirt, makeup etc... kind of girl. You try to grab the door for her out of politeness and you're told "I can open my own damn door". She enjoys camping, science, all that sort of stuff. As the lone girl in our group of friends we were all joking recently about us guys having to pee while we were all out in the woods. We said "Now let's not scare her or anything!" She was like "I've seen one before!" We said "yeah your kid brother's!" She said she'd seen other male friends pee before so we joked that since she didn't have a problem with seeing our packages out and at work, we just should do that. She cracked a smile.

We went on a vacation together in 2007. We stayed with some relatives I have outside of the big city. Didn't share a bedroom.

Driving her to college one time we spent the night in a motel. I informed her she'd probably see me in boxers. It didn't phase her, again pointing out she grew up around brothers and other guy friends.

We got to talking then about which of us would be the first to marry, who would want kids, and who'd be last. Karen has never dated anybody in her life out of sheer disinterest in going on a date. She once said she'd stay a virgin till marriage (because of religious beliefs) but recently said marriage isn't her thing and she doesn't see it ever happening.

Now I'm not talking about myself necessarily, but for a nice young woman of her age to go her whole life without ever being with a man seems odd to me. Is there a way to broach the subject to her of if she's ever thought about sex or if she wants to have sex to know what it's like?

If it helps, we have discussed issues together regarding her ongoing health issues which have required some surgeries. I’m not looking to get myself laid. I just want to know how to bring up a delicate topic with a friend
No others have asked the question too. She likes men, and is Catholic, she just isn't very relationship oriented, girly girly
To second poster, it's not that I over react, it's just we were all raised pretty strict Catholic. Like 2 piece swimsuits are immoral Catholic. She has always bucked all that craziness and so have I but I brought it up because it is contrary to how we were raised and how a lot of our friends are
 
This is totally out of my character to assume something like this but... is she a lesbian? For some reason your description of her just screamed "I like woman"?

Totally not meant to be disrespectful. It is just a thought.
 
Some people just dont want to get married
Or, it could even be phase. Shes only 22, she has lots of time to think about things and change her mind. Dont bring it up, she can think things through and make her own choices by herself. And I can guarantee shes thought about sex. Who hasn't at your age? Shes not abnormal, she HAS thought about it all right.

Plus who's to say that she will wait till marriage to have sex?Who's to say she wont change her mind about getting married?

There is no rule book, she can choose to do whatever she wants.

I dont mean to be rude, but I dont think her sexual thoughts and feelings are any of your business. Even if you're good friends. If she brings it up, then fine. But you should leave your nose out of it.

Add: You need to stop thinking her decisions out for her based on how she was raised. She's at the age where she can think for herself and make choices. Maybe she doesnt even want to be Catholic. There is nothing wrong with her, stop trying to decode her future based on her past.
 
Obviously she is really comfortable with you so it shouldn't be a problem.
You seem to over react to things, girls really don't care if they see guys in boxers, especially when they grow up about guy friends and brothers.
If she doesn't want to be in a relationship it is not your concern and because of her personality and that she is a tomboy it shouldn't effect how you talk to her or what you talk about.
 
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