Discouraged

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FrogTN

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Is their anyone out there that is struggling staying in a marriage with a drug addict.
 
I wasn't married, but it was on the list. We were together for over 3years. She had baggage when we met to say the least, but I truly loved her etc. She was the worst benge drinker I had ever seen. I talked to her about it and she admitted she had a problem and she "worked on it.". Half ass managing isn't a solution i knew it and she knew it. I have no problem having half a beer or not drinking, but if she had a sip she was headed for blackout. It got better and it got worse, just up and down. Her real issue was untreated depression that she refused help for. Well her problem progressed and became my problem when I started noticing my adderall missing. I don't take them everyday so it took a while to notice. I didn't want to accuse her because someone else could have taken it... Untill she droped her purse and damn near a month worth of empty capsules fell out. Turned out they were her "drinking aide.". Well I still tried to work it out and help her until she truly became emotionally abusive. I felt emotionally gutted by the time my head hit the pillow every night. One day I woke up with a huge smile on my face because right that minute I decided I had been through enough. It was hard and god I wish I could have been enough to convince her to stop, but that is on her.
 
I am an addict and my husband wants and I want me to get off the methamphetamine. We are working together to get this thing out of our lives. He does not want me to die from using. If you could write more about your problem it would be easier to give you information. Sincerely, searchin
 
I admire your courage. I guess I just have to many years invested (26). I know he is not going to ever get off the drugs I guess I will just have to make the decision of whether I can live with it and him.
 
Oh Frog...I am so sorry. My daughter has been using drugs for almost 8 or 9 years now. She just got out of prison, was gone for 18 mths. I KNOW your heartache.
We go through so much.
I never tell someone to stay or go, but I DO suggest that you take care of YOU no matter how you have to do this. Do you have the ability to maybe seek counseling with a therapist that deals with addiction? I think that would be your best bet.
We know we have to mean what we say and say what we mean...and we also know just HOW HARD this is.

Please know you have my best thoughts and wishes....because this is really a tough disease. Be it our child, or husband, or whomever it is that we love.....loving an addict is a very, very hard road to hoe......
Blessings...
Ella
 
I have been married to the same man since I was 16 years old (married now for 26 years). For the last 5 years my husband has gotten addicted to pain killers. Money would disappear from our bank accounts and I was finding that I couldn't even pay the bills. What makes this worse is I think he does drugs with our children (adult now ages 21 and 26) and they have also stolen from me. I finally wised up about 3 years ago and set-up my own bank account so that way I can at least pay the bills. He now steals items from home, cameras, grills, riding lawn mowers ... you name it. He is a good man in as far he is a real sweet person, he never says a cross word to me and treats me like a queen. What I can't seem to make him understand is "don't lie to me". He is now getting a disability check (hurt his back in 2003 which is where the drug addition steamed from) and its a fight every month to make sure the check goes into the bank. Susposely he didn't get this months check - - probably another lie. I am just so tired of dealing with the lies but find it difficult to make him leave, where would he go? He doesn't draw that much money a month and he probably waste it all on drugs. It would be so much easier to leave if he cheated. Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated.:confused:
 
You are so correct in your statement. It feels good sometimes to just vent and feel like there is someone out there who understanRAB.
 
This doesn't really seem to be an issue of drugs so much as of trust. I really wouldn't know what to do in this kind of situation, but stealing has always been something of an issue for me and my wife. She doesn't do anything like what your hubby does, but she does take money everyone once in a while and not let me know about it. It irks me to know end, I wouldn't know what I would do if she stole something worth as much as a riding lawn mower though...all I can do is I feel for you. Try to seek help from someone you can see in person, there is only so much you can learn from the internet.
 
piemikey, so weird to here someone else make the statement that it is more of a trust issue than a drug issue. You would think I would be more concerned with what the drugs are doing to him, but I'm not ... I'm so done with it and if he enRAB up dying from the drug use so be it. I hate that I feel this way I feel like I have no compassion for anyone or anything, I'm just tired, tired of trying and tired of giving him the benefit of the doubt. Appreciate your comments your probably right wouldn't hurt to talk to someone in person .... maybe I'll make an appointment to see a professional after the first of the year. Thanks for your comments, Frog
 
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