A
AngelOfTranquility
Guest
Trying to condense this question a little, but let me explain the situation..
If you are a bigot or have anything against people with disabilities enjoying sexual pleasure, please don't read any further, I don't need narrow or closed minded people opinionating on this topic. It's a serious question. People with disabilities have every right to a healthy sexual existence.
I have been working as a personal care attendant to people with various disabilities for the last nearly 8 years. I am a very professional, highly skilled worker, who would never think to put any of my clients in the way of harm.
I have been seeing one client for nearly 7 years now.. a man with a high cervical spine injury which has rendered him a quadriplegic, unable to move below his neck. He is not that much older than me in the scheme of things, but old enough that I wouldn't consider a full relationship with him.
He has had his disability for over 20 years, is very grounded, intelligent and has come to terms with who he is and what he is. He's not someone you could take advantage of.. he knows what he wants.
Anyway, we're very close and attracted to each other, but as I mentioned before, we wouldn't take it to the point of having a relationship.. I am very understanding of his sexual needs as an adult male despite his disability, moreso than any of my colleagues, who he would never talk to about any of this, but we often have sexual conversations, about what he can feel, what he likes, even what I like..
He cannot ejaculate, but he can gain an erection with stimulation (he says his feeling would be about 15-20 % of what anyone else would feel).. Until last year I was in a relationship with someone, so I was very reluctant to help him with anything, but now we are both single and have no partners to answer to.. I want to help him.
He is not able to masturbate himself, but also gets a little frustrated when he is physically stimulated "down there" by someone else as he can't finish the job off (due to his inability to ejaculate). He loves the stimulation that I have been providing him with my hands, but also says he needs some visual stimulation.
Last week, I was at his house, getting him ready for his shower, and he asked me if he could touch my breast (I had to keep leaning across him and he couldn't help himself). I said he could, took his hand and placed it there. Later on he asked me if he could put his hand closer (ie, under my shirt) so I allowed him that too.
Wanting to help him out more, I asked him if, other than massaging him, there was anything else that would be of assistance to him.. he has explained that he is very visually stimulated, particularly by the other person enjoying themselves.. so while I have my limitations and my integrity that I wish to maintain (I don't believe in sex outside marriage, but have no problems helping him with the exception of penetrative love making and using my mouth, and have no problems enjoying myself) he wants to see me enjoying myself to satisfy his sexual needs.
I know he won't tell anyone, (not that his sexual needs are something that need to be hidden) and would love to help him out.. I'm just a little conflicted. He says I can lock his door, no worries, and no one will walk in, I know it's not entirely professional, but we've had many conversations about this.. he knows me and we're reasonably close which would be bettter than him seeking a total stranger who he can't necessarily trust to stick to the script, so to speak.
Many other clients see sex workers and sex therapists who help them out, but he doesn't necessarily want one.. I'm happy to help him out in that regard.
I'm really thinking this through, and I recognise that he has every right to a healthy sex life, even if it is just watching or being massaged. Unfortunately he can't do much more than that.
What would your comments be on this? I am not intending to end up totally naked... will help with what he needs while maintaining my boundaries.
I don't make decisions like this lightly.. I am a decent woman, with morals and ethics, I'm just trying to help someone out.
If you are a bigot or have anything against people with disabilities enjoying sexual pleasure, please don't read any further, I don't need narrow or closed minded people opinionating on this topic. It's a serious question. People with disabilities have every right to a healthy sexual existence.
I have been working as a personal care attendant to people with various disabilities for the last nearly 8 years. I am a very professional, highly skilled worker, who would never think to put any of my clients in the way of harm.
I have been seeing one client for nearly 7 years now.. a man with a high cervical spine injury which has rendered him a quadriplegic, unable to move below his neck. He is not that much older than me in the scheme of things, but old enough that I wouldn't consider a full relationship with him.
He has had his disability for over 20 years, is very grounded, intelligent and has come to terms with who he is and what he is. He's not someone you could take advantage of.. he knows what he wants.
Anyway, we're very close and attracted to each other, but as I mentioned before, we wouldn't take it to the point of having a relationship.. I am very understanding of his sexual needs as an adult male despite his disability, moreso than any of my colleagues, who he would never talk to about any of this, but we often have sexual conversations, about what he can feel, what he likes, even what I like..
He cannot ejaculate, but he can gain an erection with stimulation (he says his feeling would be about 15-20 % of what anyone else would feel).. Until last year I was in a relationship with someone, so I was very reluctant to help him with anything, but now we are both single and have no partners to answer to.. I want to help him.
He is not able to masturbate himself, but also gets a little frustrated when he is physically stimulated "down there" by someone else as he can't finish the job off (due to his inability to ejaculate). He loves the stimulation that I have been providing him with my hands, but also says he needs some visual stimulation.
Last week, I was at his house, getting him ready for his shower, and he asked me if he could touch my breast (I had to keep leaning across him and he couldn't help himself). I said he could, took his hand and placed it there. Later on he asked me if he could put his hand closer (ie, under my shirt) so I allowed him that too.
Wanting to help him out more, I asked him if, other than massaging him, there was anything else that would be of assistance to him.. he has explained that he is very visually stimulated, particularly by the other person enjoying themselves.. so while I have my limitations and my integrity that I wish to maintain (I don't believe in sex outside marriage, but have no problems helping him with the exception of penetrative love making and using my mouth, and have no problems enjoying myself) he wants to see me enjoying myself to satisfy his sexual needs.
I know he won't tell anyone, (not that his sexual needs are something that need to be hidden) and would love to help him out.. I'm just a little conflicted. He says I can lock his door, no worries, and no one will walk in, I know it's not entirely professional, but we've had many conversations about this.. he knows me and we're reasonably close which would be bettter than him seeking a total stranger who he can't necessarily trust to stick to the script, so to speak.
Many other clients see sex workers and sex therapists who help them out, but he doesn't necessarily want one.. I'm happy to help him out in that regard.
I'm really thinking this through, and I recognise that he has every right to a healthy sex life, even if it is just watching or being massaged. Unfortunately he can't do much more than that.
What would your comments be on this? I am not intending to end up totally naked... will help with what he needs while maintaining my boundaries.
I don't make decisions like this lightly.. I am a decent woman, with morals and ethics, I'm just trying to help someone out.