Knee high to a grasshopper, that’s how I used to be,
But I’m much taller now that I’ve reached sixty-three,
My family’s genes determined the pace at which I grew
Trouble is they didn’t work until I turned sixty two.
It matters not that I am wee as Scots are apt to say
For I am English, through and through, and wee I do all day.
And that’s because my bladder’s small, incontinent that’s me,
Without warning, clear the way, for the nearest lavatory.
Being small and diuretic is a combination I deplore
Instead of Pinot Grigio, I stick to Pinot More.
Rather than a pint of beer to satisfy my thirst
I sip a little eau-de-vie until I’m fit to burst.
Small is beautiful, so ‘tis said, is a phrase I oft recite
Whenever someone’s being rude to me about my lack of height.
I merely smile, stand up tall, and look them in the knees.
From way down here it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.
But I’m much taller now that I’ve reached sixty-three,
My family’s genes determined the pace at which I grew
Trouble is they didn’t work until I turned sixty two.
It matters not that I am wee as Scots are apt to say
For I am English, through and through, and wee I do all day.
And that’s because my bladder’s small, incontinent that’s me,
Without warning, clear the way, for the nearest lavatory.
Being small and diuretic is a combination I deplore
Instead of Pinot Grigio, I stick to Pinot More.
Rather than a pint of beer to satisfy my thirst
I sip a little eau-de-vie until I’m fit to burst.
Small is beautiful, so ‘tis said, is a phrase I oft recite
Whenever someone’s being rude to me about my lack of height.
I merely smile, stand up tall, and look them in the knees.
From way down here it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.