In high school....at the age of 14, I stepped on the scale and saw I was 130...the heaviest I ever weighed. So I compulsively exercised, didn't eat much, and went down to 115. Then I went back up to 126, panicked and starved myself yet again. It was a yo yo, going back and forth. The period of starving myself would last for 5 months...then eating bad would be about 5 months.
At 5'2 and 114 lbs, you would think that's a lot, but people told me I was too skinny. So I ate and got bigger again.
I no longer starve myself, ever since I moved out of my parents house and with my fiance who loves the way I look now...I don't feel a need to anymore.
Now I am 138 (I was 140 a month ago), and I am 25. I looked back on my eating habits, and figured the result was bc I was scared of getting fat. (My whole family is entirely overweight, and my mom was very controlling with me growing up and never let me go out and do things) so I think I starved myself in retaliation to the control, but mixed with the fear of getting fat.
Do you think this is the reason why?
Thanks for your opinions.
If you think this was an eating disorder...do you think the reasons I provided are good motivators for that eating disorder? And will I ever get this eating disorder again?
At 5'2 and 114 lbs, you would think that's a lot, but people told me I was too skinny. So I ate and got bigger again.
I no longer starve myself, ever since I moved out of my parents house and with my fiance who loves the way I look now...I don't feel a need to anymore.
Now I am 138 (I was 140 a month ago), and I am 25. I looked back on my eating habits, and figured the result was bc I was scared of getting fat. (My whole family is entirely overweight, and my mom was very controlling with me growing up and never let me go out and do things) so I think I starved myself in retaliation to the control, but mixed with the fear of getting fat.
Do you think this is the reason why?
Thanks for your opinions.
If you think this was an eating disorder...do you think the reasons I provided are good motivators for that eating disorder? And will I ever get this eating disorder again?