A
anon om nom nom
Guest
Um, hi. I came across this site looking for information and thought I should maybe post this here.
I'm not sure how to 'sum this up', so I'll start at the beginning.
I'm 25 years old. for the past ten of those years I've been abusing diphenhydramine (off and on) in one form or another. It started in high school when I was taking a benadryl each day to corabat allergies. I started taking more and more and it eventually became an 'out'. I could pop some of these little pink pills and feel nothing. Throughout my junior and senior year it slowly consumed me and my studies felt this wrath. Now, I fear my body may undergo a different aspect of this wrath.
Somehow I managed leave high school with a diploma (just barely) but I couldn't leave my habit.
For the rest of my teens and into my twenties, I consumed varying amounts for varying time perioRAB. I have gone months without only to go into a binge when I needed to "escape", as it were.
Eventually I developed insomnia to the degree of being awake for 120 hours at the worst, but generally 48 hours between sleeping. I went to a doctor with this problem and was prescribed arabien. I tried this treatment for approximately a month to no avail. I would take the pill, lie down, and just not fall asleep; instead I would go into the amnesic delirium that I have learned is a common effect. I finally stopped taking this medication when, one night, I apparently took my nightly dose, went into this state, and kept taking them (I had even hid them from myself as per suggestions at the time).
I went a year or two before going back to the doctor when I was diagnosed with depression. And so, I went in with insomnia, and left with depression and a prescription for prozac. I say this in jest, but I do not argue the fact that I do suffer from depression. This was hard for me at the time because I always ruled depression as something that could be self regulated.
I spent 3 months on prozac, which did help with my depression, in a way. The way it helped was that I would become a zorabie. Rather than feel depressed, I would feel no emotion at all. This was very hard to cope with at the time as I was in a meaningful relationship. Loosing sadness and the cost of lost joy of love (not to mention, sex drive) was not a valuable reconciliation for me. So I stopped taking them.
Of course things got worse, as they tend to do when you don't "ramp down" from prozac. For the first time in my life, I had true, undeniable thoughts of suicide. Somehow I was able to grunt through this part of my life. But, I eventually meandered back to that old standby; diphenhydramine.
From this point on, my abuse worsened. 600-1000mg doses were not uncommon for some period, but I eventually leveled out at frequent lower doses.
Usually I would take about 200mg, but the frequency fluctuated depending on the severity of my emotional state.
For the last year or two, I have managed to keep this habit at bay, along with my depression, with the help of cannabis. I know there are many schools of thought on this, most leaning toward a harmful ideal. However, it is a treatment that I prefer since the physical health effects are negligible and it does indeed help with my depression.*
*I include this information to give a fully illustrated picture of where I am currently. I know most people believe this to be another crutch, but I think it is along the same lines as any other depression medication, sans horrible side effects. Since this is a controversial subject, I would appreciate less fixation on this aspect of my post, and more along the lines of the diphen.
In the last year, I have not been using cannabis as I have been looking for steady work which is unattainable for a cannabis user due to the need to pee in little cups.
With my abstinence of tetrahydrocannabinol and other associated cannabinoiRAB, I have fallen back into my old habits.
About a week ago, I had a rather harsh binge. I don't recall doses or frequency (or much of anything for that matter) but I do know I sent through an entire 50 count bottle of 50mg unisom.
Now, for the last 23 hours or so, I've noticed hematuria. Leading up to this I had a two day spell of no appetite to speak of.
Now, with my abuse history, should I be overly concerned about this appearance of blood in my urine? I have noticed that it's worse after drinking soda pop (diet pepsi and squirt).
I did some research which yielded the consensus that henaturia is fairly common and usually goes away. But I can't help but wonder if it has to do with my abuse. I have heard that diphenhydramine is hard on the liver and kidneys (can only find information online stating liver health risks).
Also, what are options regarding depression? Is there such thing as a happy pill? I hate my emotional state, and it seems to be deepening recently.
Thank you in advance for any and all help,
~Anon
I'm not sure how to 'sum this up', so I'll start at the beginning.
I'm 25 years old. for the past ten of those years I've been abusing diphenhydramine (off and on) in one form or another. It started in high school when I was taking a benadryl each day to corabat allergies. I started taking more and more and it eventually became an 'out'. I could pop some of these little pink pills and feel nothing. Throughout my junior and senior year it slowly consumed me and my studies felt this wrath. Now, I fear my body may undergo a different aspect of this wrath.
Somehow I managed leave high school with a diploma (just barely) but I couldn't leave my habit.
For the rest of my teens and into my twenties, I consumed varying amounts for varying time perioRAB. I have gone months without only to go into a binge when I needed to "escape", as it were.
Eventually I developed insomnia to the degree of being awake for 120 hours at the worst, but generally 48 hours between sleeping. I went to a doctor with this problem and was prescribed arabien. I tried this treatment for approximately a month to no avail. I would take the pill, lie down, and just not fall asleep; instead I would go into the amnesic delirium that I have learned is a common effect. I finally stopped taking this medication when, one night, I apparently took my nightly dose, went into this state, and kept taking them (I had even hid them from myself as per suggestions at the time).
I went a year or two before going back to the doctor when I was diagnosed with depression. And so, I went in with insomnia, and left with depression and a prescription for prozac. I say this in jest, but I do not argue the fact that I do suffer from depression. This was hard for me at the time because I always ruled depression as something that could be self regulated.
I spent 3 months on prozac, which did help with my depression, in a way. The way it helped was that I would become a zorabie. Rather than feel depressed, I would feel no emotion at all. This was very hard to cope with at the time as I was in a meaningful relationship. Loosing sadness and the cost of lost joy of love (not to mention, sex drive) was not a valuable reconciliation for me. So I stopped taking them.
Of course things got worse, as they tend to do when you don't "ramp down" from prozac. For the first time in my life, I had true, undeniable thoughts of suicide. Somehow I was able to grunt through this part of my life. But, I eventually meandered back to that old standby; diphenhydramine.
From this point on, my abuse worsened. 600-1000mg doses were not uncommon for some period, but I eventually leveled out at frequent lower doses.
Usually I would take about 200mg, but the frequency fluctuated depending on the severity of my emotional state.
For the last year or two, I have managed to keep this habit at bay, along with my depression, with the help of cannabis. I know there are many schools of thought on this, most leaning toward a harmful ideal. However, it is a treatment that I prefer since the physical health effects are negligible and it does indeed help with my depression.*
*I include this information to give a fully illustrated picture of where I am currently. I know most people believe this to be another crutch, but I think it is along the same lines as any other depression medication, sans horrible side effects. Since this is a controversial subject, I would appreciate less fixation on this aspect of my post, and more along the lines of the diphen.
In the last year, I have not been using cannabis as I have been looking for steady work which is unattainable for a cannabis user due to the need to pee in little cups.
With my abstinence of tetrahydrocannabinol and other associated cannabinoiRAB, I have fallen back into my old habits.
About a week ago, I had a rather harsh binge. I don't recall doses or frequency (or much of anything for that matter) but I do know I sent through an entire 50 count bottle of 50mg unisom.
Now, for the last 23 hours or so, I've noticed hematuria. Leading up to this I had a two day spell of no appetite to speak of.
Now, with my abuse history, should I be overly concerned about this appearance of blood in my urine? I have noticed that it's worse after drinking soda pop (diet pepsi and squirt).
I did some research which yielded the consensus that henaturia is fairly common and usually goes away. But I can't help but wonder if it has to do with my abuse. I have heard that diphenhydramine is hard on the liver and kidneys (can only find information online stating liver health risks).
Also, what are options regarding depression? Is there such thing as a happy pill? I hate my emotional state, and it seems to be deepening recently.
Thank you in advance for any and all help,
~Anon