decided i want to keep using

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markshark

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ive been off for 2 weeks. i hate it. i hate the fact that my relationship is not good anymore. i hate that im still unemployed with a college degree. its useless. i find no happiness in sobriety. i dont understand how anyone does and the only thing that is worth it is to feel high and forget about it.
 
Hi Mark, well, my son (an addict) has the same attitude as you do. He told me he can't understand how people can go through life WITHOUT drugs. It's so very sad when a young person's life is so bleak. I hope that you can stay strong. Try to remeraber what made you decide to get off the drugs....life wasn't exactly a box of chocolates then either, right?
 
Hay Mark, unfortunately, life is never fun or does what you want it to. It's part of growing up and being able to fight back adversity and find a better way. Tell me, how does going down the drug path help you be a better person or better your life? How does giving up and staying high help you in any way other than saying, "I Quit!"? It doesn't! It's a dead end path that enRAB in a very bad way. You know the answers. I know you know the rigth answer too.

Somewhere inside your soul is a flickering light that you need to find that will give you the hope and courage you need to get out of this depression. You can't find a job? Well, neither can I and I have 40 years experience working! I have applied for level 1 positions and haven't got them where I had more experience than the manager's manager. There ARE jobs out there - they may not be the one you want right now, but they are there. I have an Engineering friend that started out as a janitor in a company until they were ready to hire and he stepped right into an Engineering position one day. He was in a meeting that week as they were announcing the new person and one of the Engineers spoke up and asked, "Do I know you from somewhere? You look very familiar." My friend answered, "Yes, I was emptying your trash can yesterday."

Have a bad relationship? Either decide to fix it or find another one. Tough worRAB, but you have to be in control of your own life. Go sit in the corner and cry, or pull yourself up and say I'm better than this and do something about it. The choice is your. Tough worRAB Mark, but I think you need them and I think deep inside you're not a quiter. Take the money you're spending on drugs and buy a suit, clean up your resume and start applying for every job you see that comes along no matter what it is. Before you know it, you'll be working and beginning a new life. You may find a new relationship along the way or the current one will improve. Suck it in and go do it!
 
whats interesting about what you said was that i just bought a new suit and am expecting a job interview soon. ive been applying. i dont know why im so weak minded anymore. all i know is that for that hour or two that im high i feel better than i had ever felt. im in such a low point.
 
Good for you on getting the suit and I really hope the job interview works out. When it comes to finding a job, I have always said, "You need to send out 100 resumes, to get 10 interviews to get one job." That's especially true in today's job market. It's tight and few companies are hiring. If the interview doesn't work out, don't let it get to you - send out more resumes and look for more interviews. Make finding a job your new drug of choice and the high you feel when you do get a job will be unbelievable!! Good Luck to you!
 
Hello Mark

Nice to meet you.

Mark, gently I say to you that your thinking continues to be addicted thinking. There is a continuation of believing that drug haze feels better than reality sharpness. Adddictive thinking is so deceitful! I would suggest some one on one counseling, young friend, to help. We can change our thinking, yes, we can.

Hiding out in a drug haze is merely an avoidance of life. Life can be tough sometimes, but when we spend our time hiding from the tough parts, we miss out on the great parts also. We can make new habits to replace old ones. Make a habit of experiencing life sober. I sincerely believe you will learn to enjoy it.

Best wishes
reach
 
I was just checking in to see how you are doing. Hope you are feeling OK and working towarRAB your plan.
 
Escaping problems by getting high is a very short-term answer. When you come down, then you buy more, spend more money and get high again. If you need a job for rent, food, car, how can you flush it down the toilet by putting poison in your body? Think how many things you could use that money for besides getting high? Yes, jobs are very tough to find right now, but just go door to door, visit every place you can think of and try really hard to find something, even if you have to settle for minimum wage. the bad economy effects everyone. You did do something wonderful--you earned a degree. I'm sure those first two weeks were tough, and that's when you need to reach for help by attending an NA meeting, calling someone who doesn't take drugs to ask for help to get through the tough times, get a sponsor, read the literature. That's why it is said, "take one day at a time, one hour or one minute at a time." Since you relapsed, try again. The natural high you get from exercise called endorphins is good for your body, calms you, allows you to get the anger out in a healthy way. Stop and enjoy nature--a sunset, remeraber how good the last hug you shared felt. Instant gratification isn't reality. It takes hard work, persistence and small forward steps to get what you want. Others have done it. You can do it too.
 
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