Day 4 cold turkey from 400mg+ oxy per day

  • Thread starter Thread starter mel486
  • Start date Start date
M

mel486

Guest
Hey there icehouse3z. I'm glad to see how well you are doing. I tried going cold turkey from 60 mg/day and I couldn't make it and ended up tapering down to get off of the oxy. You really are an inspiration to other people. I hope the insomnia eases up for you. Hang in there and we're here to encourage you and help out the best we can. Good Luck!
 
Thx for the well wishes secrets, i know i have a long road ahead of me.im just takin things one day at a time. the next step is keeping up with the aftercare. hows everything with you goin? i know you went through alot recently, hope things have settled down a bit.

take care

Ice
 
hey ICE and all --just got caught up on the story --thanks for thinking of me when I was in "rehab" :-) Ice --i am proud of you for coming back on here and posting a relapse. Its not an excuse for it, BUT it is part of the process. we HOPE and HOPE that once will be enough, but addiction is a very serious disease with no certain path for its cure. We all have to find the right path and RELAPSE sometimes is part of all of our paths. I had 6 of them, each time getting worse and deeper into my addiction. i made a huge commitment this time going away from my family. Rehab was a HUGE and hopefully final piece of my puzzle. i learned that the addiction was not my fault. it was what I was brought up to do from my parents and my parents parents. Traumas at an early age set me in a straight path for pills. We can beat this. I feel that the key to ALL ADDICTIONS is a daily connection to the disease. NA, AA, sponsors, reading, online, frienRAB. ALL of these things keep us honest with ourselves. It when we listen to ourselves and the STINKIN THINKIN --thats when we get in trouble. Every relapse I ever had was because i listened and convinced myself that what I was thinking was right. I learned over the last few months (60 days clean coming soon) that I can not trust my thoughts for a long time. I ask everyone that i love, is this the right thing to do? Relapse happens WAY before taking the drug. it starts with planning and rationalizing, accepting, getting and BANG --there we are again. Think about it this way --Could you ever safely take an OPIATE again? what is the real answer.? broken arm --bad tooth, surgery, --i know it sucks BUT we cant do it. my last relapse was NOT because I wanted to take opiates. I was 6 months clean and got Pneumonia. the first DR wanted to give me opiate cough syrup. I said NO. the second DR a week later tried to give me opiate cough syrup, I said yes --BANG ---slowly that started the cycle all over again. 7 months later i was in rehab. crazy, but true. dont deny anymore, just accept and remeraber how goo it feels to wake up with NO WORRIES or WD. its a great feeling bud.

YOO CAN DO THIS--come join us.

D
 
Thanks for the update! Glad that you got some sleep. It looks like you are well on the way to recovery. Great job! Just keep moving forward and take it one step, one day at a time.
 
Thanks reach and fullcircle, both of your posts have helped. The main thing is i really DO want to kick this and for good. Reach your right about me being afraid of sobriety, how you figured that out i dont know. I need to realize that i can go through life without the pills. for the fist 23 years of my life i never used a painkiller and was able to go through life fine, yea i had my ups and downs, but we all do and i was able to handle it fine then and i know i can again without the drugs....i just need to give it a chance, the pills are an emotion killer. I really need to get in touch with other outlets like NA, find somebody i can call or somethin. I knew that this last time around, and when i was really starting to feel better i should have used that time to make some phone calls, i live in southern CA i know theres a ton of NA groups etc. Anyway I am grateful to this board and to everyone on here. Its great to hear the success stories, i just read yours fullcircle (60 days is awesome!) congrats on that and thanks for your worRAB as well. I'll keep updating, nite.
 
Hello Ice

Well, I am home, pooped out, but a happy pooped out. We had a lot of fun today watching the ice hockey game and going out for lunch.

Wow, Ice, I have got to tell you that our cancers sure sound similar. Both in the leh, although yours was lower leg and mine was thigh. My was also a very rare cancer and took forever to diagnose. Six pathologists here could not determine it. The biopsy was finally sent to the Army in Washington , DC to be checked. That was when it was finally diagnosed. It was a sarcoma... specifically liposarcoma which attacks muscle, fat and connective tissue. Mine was deep in a major thigh muscle. I escaped amputation by God's grace. The radiologist in my area who worked with me said that she felt I should go to The Sarcoma Clinic at Mass General Hospital in Boston. At that time, it was one of only two sarcoma clinics in the country. That is where I had the biggest of all my surgeries. It was a cutting edge procedure and did, indeed, save the leg. Many oncologists will never see a sarcoma in their careers, but at this clinic, it was dealt with often with patients from all over the world. Our friend FullCircle is also a survivor and has written a bit about it on this board. I do believe his was in the leg also. I am glad we all have mobility still. We have each been blessed with a few extra chances in this life, huh? We need to celebrate them.

Hope your day has been a good one. Talk soon.

Hugs
reach
 
hey reach, thinkin of you. i need to get on the aftercare more aggressively. i know how important that his now. im single as well too, it was a mutual thing, plus i need to work on myself not to sound selfish. but i cant love somebody until i learn to love myself again. im taking things day by day. my friend told me of meetings he goes to in the area, he is also had major addiction problems most recently pain pills like myself, hes on suboxone, he said thats what the meeting is for. but i dont want to be on the sub, just would be neat to go to the meetings. i hope your feelin better reach, i think of you everyday. sending good thoughts your way!

your friend,
Ice
 
Congradulations, As A crack addict I am clean and free for 2 yrs, my son is a meth addict. clean and free for 5 months. life begans today for him and I each morning.he is with me temp. until he gets on his feet same job for his 5 months. I am proud of him and I am proud of you I know your sharing this is good for you, and I. you are doing it. if you could see what I look like, what its done to me you would know. God is the answer, go find him. You have just picked the winning ticket of the (new life Lotto) Love LR
 
Hiya Ice

Great to hear so many nice things are going on in your life these days. The world is new again when we become sober, huh? I am really glad that happines is finding its way to you again.

I do need to remind you gently, Ice, that I am not hearing anything about aftercare or support going on in your life. We can not forget about that when things are running smoothly, Buddy. It neeRAB to be a constant for us. We need to prepare for when Life does hand us some stress. And it will at some point. We have talked before about this being a missing piece in maintaining recovey for you. Please, don't ignore this important part of sobriety.

I am not trying to rain on your parade, Ice. I want the happiness to continue for you and that is why I am throwing this reminder out to you. I want you to enjoy your new found girl and your new found sobriety. Both of these things will take work to remain in your life. Don't forsake one for the other.

Always on your side
reach
 
Hey Ice

I am not a clairvoyant who figured our the fear of sobriety... I am just a woman who has lived through it. Smiles.

I read about relapses here and while I did not have relapses, I think my behaviour was far worse. I had very lucid warnings that I was getting out of control and just tried to hide from them, ignore them, block them. I would light a cigarette and then pass out. I would wake later and find a whole burned in a rug or table. It would scare the hell out of me thinking I could have killed my husband who was peacefully sleeping, totally unaware of the danger to him. And you know what I would do? I would put the cigarettes in another room and then pop some Xanax and Oxycodone and try to block the entire episode from my mind.

The blocking didn't work well because I knew in my subconscious and my heart that these pills were doing far more harm and good to me. However, I just kept pushing those fears down like I had pushed a million other tough emotions down over the years. I pushed away every single friend who tried to stay in touch with me. I didn't want anyone to expect anything of me at all. I wanted to hide in my little cozy drug haze and pretend all was right with my world when all was so very screwed up and wrong. It is a coping skill that just does not work forever and when it starts to fail is when we have to face up and deal with everything.

How much easier life is now that I deal with issues as they come up. I don't delay the inevitable anymore. Things will catch up eventually and then we have tons to deal with instead of a single issue.

So, Ice, while I technically did not have relapses, I, too, delayed finding sobriety and restoration and wasted so much time in doing so... and for the same reasons as you and most everyone else here. While our individaul circumstances may differ, we are all connected by the damn fear. And what useless purpose fear serves! It merely keeps us trapped in its grip and prevents us from being who God meant us to be.

Sobriety is so much more than just not using. It is a renewal of our ability to think and to learn again how to move forward in life here. It is scary as we take those beginning steps back into Life and participating. Forcing ourselves to face that fear and do it anyway leaRAB us to a place again where it feels natural to live each day. It is a good feeling, Ice. And it will come with time and practice. Funny to think we have to practice living, but that really is what is involved.

Use all the resources....Na, frienRAB, family, counselors....that surround us and care about us to find the way back. Make growing spiritually and emotionally a prioruty and things begin to fall in place. Coming out of adiction and into sobriety is much like becoming a baby again. We learn with new eyes and ears and hearts to re-enter the world with the excitment we had so long ago.

Stay strong in these things you are working on, my friend. Trust that your life will be renewed and restored and happy again.

Hugs
reach
 
Hiya Ice

It is encouraging to read that some meetings and aftercare may be in the near future for you. To check a meeting out with a friend is probably the way I would want to go myself. I always applaud those who brave a first meeting on their own because I know I would be a bit tenative walking in alone the first time. I have a feeling that the meetings your friend attenRAB can be very helpful for you as well. To me, using Suboxone is really when some addicts need the time to learn how to think sober and learn more about the whys of addiction. I know there are some hard core AA and NA merabers who have a lot of conflict about sub use, but these merabers really need to understand that paths to sobriety can be different for individuals. With sub, without sub, the goal is to find sober living again.

i need to work on myself not to sound selfish. but i cant love somebody until i learn to love myself again

I am so proud of you for coming to this understanding. Ice, I know there may be some disappointment about your lady and you parting ways. I could certainly understand that. However, in all honesty, I think it really is a good thing. Truthfully, I had a lot of reservations about a relationship starting up for you at this point, but did not want to dampen your spirits about it. You don't sound at all selfish in a bad way when you write you must learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. It is simply a basic truth. I think you will learn in any aftercare situation that now is not the time to get involved with anyone. Rather it is the time to be selfish in a good way and time neeRAB to be spent working on you. All effort neeRAB to be exerted on working out the issues behind your addiction and learning the skills that allow us to deal with life sober. That is a lot of work! The year I spent in withdrawal was a time when I had to put aside any wants or neeRAB of others and just concentrate on me without any other concerns. Even in the miRABt of my family, I would sometimes feel alone and my greatest connection with others was this board and my counselor. We simply have to be 'selfish' to be in a true survival mode and really come out whole again. The time will come again when we can seek out companionship and put our all into it, but for now, the all must go into the self.

Your life is moving forward in a good direction, Ice. I hope you are acknowledging that for yourself. As you learn to live in sobriety, expect great things to happen. I am solidly with you as you expect them.

Okay, time to motivate myself to clean out a whole lot of stuff in my house. lmost 40 years of 'stuff' in my attic that I am working on. Yikes! I am incorportaing what I learned in withdrawal in this situation... baby steps! A little at a time, day by day. It took a lot of years to accumulate it all so I can not expect it all to disappear overnight! Day by day it will eventually become a resolved issue. Chuckles. No lessons learned in our cleaning up from addiction go unused in our everyday lives.

Later, Alligator
reach
 
thank you guys, its crazy how we dont know each other,never have talked before, dont know what we look like, etc....but it doesnt matter because we are all trying to reach the same goal. I feel connected to the people on here, doesnt matter what there addicted too, we all can relate. This is my only support group i have at all, and i really really need to start putting more of an effort into getting involved with N/A and other outlets, things like exercise, so many things i used to enjoy before the pills. I need to get busy, im not out of the wooRAB yet, not by a long shot, but im headed in the right direction.

Even when i was lurking, and reading what other people were saying how they feel like they are finally turning the corner, even though i didnt respond, in my mind i was cheering them on. I hope that i can inspire or give hope to even just one person.
 
So great to hear you did it.I know you dont know me,but i was an addict for 15 years.Im clean and sober 3 years.and proud of me you'll see everyday your clean it gets better and better its a wonderful great feelig.
 
hey guys i have an update, well i had the root canal done which was no fun. i tried to make it with the motrin alone but the pain was bad and i was at work so i called them and asked for a small amount of vicodin, the regular 5/500. i tried to stick to the motrin but i just wasnt getting relief and i cant miss work, so i only got 20 and honestly wont even take them all. i wish i didnt have to take any narcotic but this time i took them for the right reasons and im not gona beat myself up over it. i was able to finish my shift and it did help with the pain,ive only taken 6 in 2 days im gona switch back over to the motrin tomorrow. if the motrin does the trick from here on out the rest of the vicodin is goin down the toilet. im not tempted to take more than prescribed as i have been for so long. i like feeling sober. 6...5mg hydrocodone is very small potatoes compared to the amount of oxy i was taking, i think my god im lucky didnt overdose, so many times i could have passed out and never wokin up. im greatful to be alive. i really want to help people cuz i know the # of people abusing pain pills is MUCH higher than what the news reports i believe, and im afraid its only going to get worse. no matter what i will keep posting, and above all i promise i will be honest with everybody here, you all are my frienRAB whether you post on here or not, if your struggling with addiction i know what your going through, gona try to go to bed early. gnite all

Ice
 
Hi Ice

So good to see you still working it here. You are so able to do this, my friend. If the long road has done anything for you, it has gained you knowledge and experience. Understanding the process of withdrawal makes it easier to get through... not pleasant, but easier because we understand what our body is doing to restore itself.

Ice, you do not, and probably should not, have to wait until all the symptoms pass before moving on here a bit into starting aftercare. Go look up some meetings, Ice, and try to start making some. Go buy or get from the library, the Big Book. Although oringinally written for alcoholics, it is all pertinent to drug addicts also. Start working it. Same as you have to force yourself to go out and get food, force yourself to start taking the needed steps to find how to think sober.

Ice, once we start to think sober, so much fear leaves us. In its place comes hope. Oh, man, so much hope! That hope spurs us on to want to keep reaching for sobriety, for restoration and renewal of ourselves. Claim it for your own. It is waiting for you.

Stay with us. We can work together through the good and the bad. get in touch with the live people at meetings because they are going to walk beside you also. The isolation stops now, Ice. So many are waiting to walk with you if only you will allow it. I am one of the many, Ice.

With hope
reach
 
Ice

Great post to read, Buddy. I'll walk alongside of you always with the hope that it can be the real thing. I know you have struggled for a long time. You are so right when you write about how the drugs can own us. It sucks the life and spirit right out of us.

The aftercare, the reinforcement... it is just vital, Ice. I know you remeraber FullCircle. It finally came to him that there was more than just withdrawal to deal with. We are all waiting for him to post when he completes a 30 day rehab. I think until we surrender and accept that the drugs are controlling us, we can not truly fight back to regain control. Once we accept it, then we stand a fighting chance.

If an urge to use comes, get on here and post. It doesn't matter if there is not an immediate response. Just getting the truth out in black and white can relieve the temptation.

I am proud of you, Bud, for stepping up and fighting. Stay strong, stay committed, do it. I know you can.

With hugs and hope
reach
 
Hey everybody out there whos struggling with addiction. I think i made it out of the worst of it, i did my last oxy thursday night, im starting to feel normal again, i had to take off friday from work, no way i could go in, first , the weekend was aweful.(at least there was playoff football on!) ......3 1/2 days for me was a nightmare, even this morning i felt horrible, i was gona call in sick today but i forced myself to go, once i started moving around instead of laying in bed all day i started to feel ALOT better, i actually made it to work today and starting to feel good, and starting to feel the real me is coming back.

Now i did use a few things to help with the withdrawal, i cycled with tylenol and motrin for aches, clonidine helped alott, esp with sweats, restless feeling, and insomnia. although i havent had much sleep, thats been the worst part, also i take benadryl nightly for sleep, and xanax. also immodium. all those helped. im not gona lie there was times i wanted to rip my hair out, but to think that after 4 days im back at work is pretty cool. now im not back to full speed and dont expect to be for awhile but energy is coming back, appitite is nil. make sure you keep hydrated though, for me it was gatorade and water, also ensure drinks help as well, bananas too thats about all i can stomach right now. I just wanted to post this, you can do it if you want to. Hope this helps some folks out there.
 
Hey Reach.....you encourage me so much to keep going on the path Iam on. Your a big part of this. I feel like I am headed in the right direction. To get sober and take my life back. I want you to know that.

Ive waged full on war against this. The one thing I will never do is give up. Well i got alot of great news today. It was one of those days where everything seems to go your way. Most importantly I got my lab results back for bloodwork i had done friday. Its amazing how when your using you let so many things go in your life....including your health. Your life revolves around the next dose...watching the clock...pathetic.

Everything came back normal except the testosterone. It was flagged for being high. Iam ok with that though :) I heard awhile back opiates can surpress that especially in males. They did two different types of test for T....both were off the chart. So things are getting revved up again lol. I feel good, naturally.

I gota jet off to the store, iam going to attempt to cook. Actually its more like boiling water. Appetite is coming back with avengence! I think its gona be ravioli night. How are you feeling? Better I hope.

Talk with you soon friend. :wave:

Ice
 
Hi Ice

Hey, glad to read about some victory there flushing the pills!! Good job, Buddy. Good job.

I have been a bit run down lately healthwise. Nothing major, just tired out; getting old. Chuckles. Also have had grandbaby girl here most of the week as she had a bad cold and could not go to daycare.

I am glad you think of me at times! That is really nice. I think we form lots of good, healthy relationships on this board and we do think about each other during the day. You are also in my thoughts as the days go by. Smiles.

Keeping yourself busy during low times is about the best remedy I found. The effort to stay busy does help get us ready for rest. A hot bath can also be good before turning in.

I do alway read here even if I don't always get a messgae posted. So I am keeping tabs on you, my friend. Be well and stay strong. I read with great interest your post about Dr Drew. I do think the man knows the addiction deal very well. I used to watch the program all the time until I lost that channel on my cable. :( It is interesting to listen to him, but also interesting to listen to the addicts. Funny how easy it is to recognize addictive thinking in them. Guess we can see ourselves in them is why, huh?

Hope you get a good night's rest. Slep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite. :)

Manana
reach
 
Hiya Ice

How was that steak? Doesn't it feel good to actually care about what we are eating? Chuckles. We went to a wedding yesterday. Hubby and I had both ordered prime rib, which I really love. I asked for an end cut. Ice, they brought a plate with an end cut that was the size of a roast big enough for a family of four! Hahahaha! I dug in but just could not eat that. We brought it home and have enough for dinner for both of us tonight. Hahahaha!

I had a bit of wistful regret that I can no longer dance the way I used to. My leg just does not have the stamina to handle the pain dancing can cause without pain pills. Then I thought about t a bit more. Yeah, tha pain pills allowed the pain to be masked so I could dance, but they also made me so zoned out that I didn't really enjoy the company of others around me. Not a very balanced trade0off in the long run. So yesterday, I enjoyed a couple of sloe dances with Hubby and spent the rest of the time yakking it up with the folks around me. It was good times all in all.

It is a beautiful day outside here. Hope it is where you are also. Good day to spend a bit of time outside and enjoying the ability to once again enjoy it. Have a good one.

reach
 
Back
Top