Customers!

A

Alisha Shay Shay

New member
Irritating Questions and Statements, and the Answers I Would Give if I Didn't Need My Job:


Where should we park?

I'm gonna go out a limb here and say the PARKING LOT? You know, the giant slab of concrete outside, where you just came from? Look to your left, out that sliding glass door. No, your LEFT. There ya go. That's where you park. Yes, I'm sure.


Is this the Comfort Inn?

No, I just answer the phone that way to confuse people. This is actually Dunkin Fucking Donuts.


Why are your rates so high?

We figure if they were any cheaper it would attract the wrong element. You know, cheap scamming bastards such as yourself.


Is this the Comfort Inn?

No. I was lying to you the first THREE times I said "Comfort Inn". :sword:



Can I get a swimming towel?

Holy fucking shit! I didn't know towels could swim! Fascinating! You simply must tell me more about these...these...."swimming towels"! Can they snorkel as well? Surf? Do handstands?


But I'm a regular customer! I should get a discount!

Yes, I realize you stayed at the Comfort Inn in Mongrelfuck, Oklahoma once back in '73. That does not make you a regular customer! Now fork over the cash or get the fuck out of my face. There's a nice roach motel down the street that has a better rate, and if you hurry you might be able to get a room with a bed that doesn't have a crusty mattress. Now shoo!


I don't mean to be a pest....

Of course you don't, but that didn't stop you from calling down to the desk the last five times now did it?


So you're not the Best Western?

:mad: :mfinger: :sword: :gun:


That is all. For the moment. :)
 
Q: Do you know where we could get a bite to eat?
A: Yeah at a fucking place that serves food. There's dozens of them, find one.

Q: Could you tell me where the X Church is?
A: Yeah, it's in this county somewhere, use your phonebook in your room, I don't go to church and I feel they should have to pay taxes.

Q: Could I get a few extra pillows? Like 4 of them.
A: Of course, go and ask your fucking neighbors in the hotel to give up their pillows for you, because having 6 fucking pillows on your bed is rediculous asshole.

Q: So have you lived here your whole life, I'm sure?
A: Listen shithead, I know you're trying to put me in the "little town redneck" box, I don't fit in a box, and it's none of your fucking business.

Q: Do you have any Non-smoking rooms for 2 people one bed at your best rate tommorow?
A: Look shithead it's a fucking holiday weekend and you call on Friday for a room on Saturday? What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course we don't we've been sold out for fucking months, like everywhere else you've called in the last few minutes. Plan ahead, don't bitch at me about it.
 
so do you work at comfort inn? :D

you know I've been a hotel patron before especially when I lived with my pop me and my girlfriend(now wife) would get a room on special occasions... my son was conceived in a days inn room, on new years 2000:D

EDIT: I was only an asshole once and that was because I needed to be.. I was trying to catch up with my ship(navy) and got flown to Naples italy for an overnighter on my way to meet the ship... I needed a room and had no money because the airport closed at night... so I went to the Navy & Marine Corps Relief society and got 50 bux for room and board.. I asked the hotel if they had space before I went to get the money.. they said yes.. I got the money and came back about 30 minutes later "Oh sorry we're full now".. Oh yeah fucker... well im just going to setup camp here in your lobby until you get an available room or its tommorow... because I got no where else to go..(this is a navy lodge hotel btw).. 10 minutes in with no one going in or out of the hotel.. suddenly "sir!... we had a room just open up..". yeah I thought so fucker.. once they saw I had no problem with struttin the lobby in my boxers they had a room :D
 
People are stupid and ask stupid questions. I really dislike service jobs. That's why I like working with kids. They don't ask stupid questions that they already know the answers to. They ask silly questions that they seriously want to know an answer for. You should switch careers.
 
I agree with everything else other than this one. How can it hurt to ask? You never know, I'm sure you would do the same thing if you were the person.
 
Q: What is the price of so-and-so?
A: I''m not sure but I can find out in a secon...
Q: But you work here right?
A: Yeah, but you probobly don't know the price your company charges for its worthless crap.
 
I should have put it in better perspective. After the 100th call about the same damn thing in just a couple hours. Does that help? The first 99 aren't quite as bad, when you break a hundred, and then they get frustrated at you about it. That's when I get this attitude.
 
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