S
SMK!*
Guest
Hi there. I'm a 14 year old British- South Asian Muslim female and I live in a predominantly White town, in the North-East of England. In school, most of my friends are White however I have 1 other British- South Asian friend. But she doesn't seem to like me...not an Asian thing, just a bitchy thing lol.
I have British- South Asian friends from outside of school who I see extremely rarely as they go to private school (private schools in our area are mainly attended by British-Asians). Now, at this point in my life, I feel like I am having a culture clash.
I have British- South Asian friends from outside of school who I see extremely rarely as they go to private school (private schools in our area are mainly attended by British-Asians). Now, at this point in my life, I feel like I am having a culture clash.
My parents are Indian, and they moved here in the 90s. When I was younger, I never really thought about my heritage. But now that I am 14, I appreciate it much more.
At the moment, I feel very torn between British and Asian culture. I feel like there is soo much pressure on me as an Asian female. My parents expect me to spend time with them at the weekends; my friends from school however expect me to go out with them. As a Muslim, there are certain things I won't do, such as have boyfriends, drink alcohol, wear revealing clothing, etc. However, my White friends have boyfriends, they occasionally drink and they wear whatever they want. My parents say NO BOYFRIENDS, drinking is a big no-no and I am not allowed to wear anything above my knees. My parents are also not as leniant as my White friends'; for example, I had to fight with my parents to let me go to Newcastle for shopping with my friends. My White friends are allowed to stay out very late and do everything they want to. I have to be home earlier and I can't spend everyday with my friends, like my White friends do. Eventually, my parents lay down the law and tell me I can't go certain places. My White friends DO NOT understand why I can't go, so I have to make excuses and they have probably found out that I'm lying. I can't say "it's because I'm Asian", because it wouldn't make sense to them. Not that I blame them, of course. I'm feeling very low and depressed because I have no other friends to share my feelings with, who would understand me.
My Asian friends in private school have a LOT of Asian friends there, so they don't need to worry. The Asian girl who goes to my school spread a rumour about me saying that I was a racist because I confided my feelings in her about my Asian-ness. I have 2 older brothers who have ALWAYS treated me as a baby, and who will never treat me as their equal. I can never have proper conversations with them. They are in their 20s and they have never shared their stories with me. My parents don't really understand me, they are always expecting me to put my Asian heritage first. They don't understand my situation. My brothers have LOTS of Asian friends, whom they met in university. As a girl AND a Muslim, I feel as though my problems will be worse. I have to deal with the pressures and problems of being a girl as well (weight, beauty etc). Being from a predominantly White town, I think it's fair to say that a lot of people here a racists. I have been called several things and public places with my friends. I try to laugh it off, but it still hurts to know that the only reason someone is insulting you, is because of my race and religion. I don't feel pretty, because all the boys talk about the White girls and I sometimes feel that men don't like Asian girls in general. However, I heard a theory that Asian men will prefer Asian girls...is this true?
At the moment, I read "Anita and Me" by Meera Syal, over and over again, because to be honest, a character from a book is essentially the only person I can relate to. I feel so alone...nobody really understands me. I would be ever so grateful if somebody out there could tell me that this is what most Asian kids go through. Please share with me your own experiences so I can feel better again. I would be so very very grateful to those who do answer me, because I feel very alone. I don't know how I will cope unless I hear that others are going through and have been through it. An email would be nice as well; just someone to talk to would be lovely. Also, another thing that would be fantastic, are some websites written for young British-Asians who are experiencing such problems. A website where there is advice, tips and people to talk to. Please help me with my problem...I need to know that there have been British Asians in my position. Any British-Asians my age would be great to talk to as well. We need to help eachother and stick together, as brothers and sisters.
Please help me,
XOXO
I have British- South Asian friends from outside of school who I see extremely rarely as they go to private school (private schools in our area are mainly attended by British-Asians). Now, at this point in my life, I feel like I am having a culture clash.
I have British- South Asian friends from outside of school who I see extremely rarely as they go to private school (private schools in our area are mainly attended by British-Asians). Now, at this point in my life, I feel like I am having a culture clash.
My parents are Indian, and they moved here in the 90s. When I was younger, I never really thought about my heritage. But now that I am 14, I appreciate it much more.
At the moment, I feel very torn between British and Asian culture. I feel like there is soo much pressure on me as an Asian female. My parents expect me to spend time with them at the weekends; my friends from school however expect me to go out with them. As a Muslim, there are certain things I won't do, such as have boyfriends, drink alcohol, wear revealing clothing, etc. However, my White friends have boyfriends, they occasionally drink and they wear whatever they want. My parents say NO BOYFRIENDS, drinking is a big no-no and I am not allowed to wear anything above my knees. My parents are also not as leniant as my White friends'; for example, I had to fight with my parents to let me go to Newcastle for shopping with my friends. My White friends are allowed to stay out very late and do everything they want to. I have to be home earlier and I can't spend everyday with my friends, like my White friends do. Eventually, my parents lay down the law and tell me I can't go certain places. My White friends DO NOT understand why I can't go, so I have to make excuses and they have probably found out that I'm lying. I can't say "it's because I'm Asian", because it wouldn't make sense to them. Not that I blame them, of course. I'm feeling very low and depressed because I have no other friends to share my feelings with, who would understand me.
My Asian friends in private school have a LOT of Asian friends there, so they don't need to worry. The Asian girl who goes to my school spread a rumour about me saying that I was a racist because I confided my feelings in her about my Asian-ness. I have 2 older brothers who have ALWAYS treated me as a baby, and who will never treat me as their equal. I can never have proper conversations with them. They are in their 20s and they have never shared their stories with me. My parents don't really understand me, they are always expecting me to put my Asian heritage first. They don't understand my situation. My brothers have LOTS of Asian friends, whom they met in university. As a girl AND a Muslim, I feel as though my problems will be worse. I have to deal with the pressures and problems of being a girl as well (weight, beauty etc). Being from a predominantly White town, I think it's fair to say that a lot of people here a racists. I have been called several things and public places with my friends. I try to laugh it off, but it still hurts to know that the only reason someone is insulting you, is because of my race and religion. I don't feel pretty, because all the boys talk about the White girls and I sometimes feel that men don't like Asian girls in general. However, I heard a theory that Asian men will prefer Asian girls...is this true?
At the moment, I read "Anita and Me" by Meera Syal, over and over again, because to be honest, a character from a book is essentially the only person I can relate to. I feel so alone...nobody really understands me. I would be ever so grateful if somebody out there could tell me that this is what most Asian kids go through. Please share with me your own experiences so I can feel better again. I would be so very very grateful to those who do answer me, because I feel very alone. I don't know how I will cope unless I hear that others are going through and have been through it. An email would be nice as well; just someone to talk to would be lovely. Also, another thing that would be fantastic, are some websites written for young British-Asians who are experiencing such problems. A website where there is advice, tips and people to talk to. Please help me with my problem...I need to know that there have been British Asians in my position. Any British-Asians my age would be great to talk to as well. We need to help eachother and stick together, as brothers and sisters.
Please help me,
XOXO