Critique my poem please (re-re-repost)?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Cilla aka Mandi aka IDK
  • Start date Start date
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Cilla aka Mandi aka IDK

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This makes perfect sense to me.
But I have a tendency to be a little too vague (and not artistically so) when I write. Any ideas?
I'd like critiques, but also suppositions as to what I'm talking about Dah you can't answer since I already told you. :-)

It's safe outside they say
For those of you who don't know
It's been all over the television.

A crack in the glass of my optimism
Keeps it forever half ... not full
To avoid a cliche.

The monkeys are still arguing
Over the bananas and I can't
Seem to get a slice in the meantime.

Racing cars with windows open
Scream at me to slow down
But when I stop - it's for too long.

I go outside because they say
but realize they lied and i forgot
my boots don't protect me from bullshit.
 
I'm not a critic so this will obviously be wrong. What I seem to get from this piece is a very publicized family squabble over money. I know I'm off by miles.
 
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