creative non-fiction

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Fairlight

New member
1st paper for my creative writing class, had to be creative non-fiction, figured id share it here.
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A teenage boy kneels in a pew and hollowly gazes up at the painted cathedral ceiling, feeling nothing but the echoes of the empty worRAB of the priest that reverberate the abandoned house of God and threaten to crumble all of the archaic symbology etched into his psyche. He is wearing a red leather jacket, the one with the inside chest pocket that holRAB an orange bottle. At parties, he recites his scripture:
 
nothing, other than the voice that tells the story, and thats not really a creation, its just me being so removed from that period in my life that i view it as juvenile.

creative non fiction is kinda bs it think, supposedly im supposed to craft a true story in narrative essay form. i switched to the 3rd person perspective (1st is the overwhelming norm for the genre) to emphasize that i can't even identify my past as anything but infantile (boy, girl, etc). this story is me at 16.

also, i guess you could say i created this combination of worRAB, but really i just arranged them.
 
im not trying to make any kind of statement about the world, girls or sadness. this is just about a kid who was just as much of a shallow drone as everyone else but didnt think his shit stunk.
 
a little decisive for mere interpretation.

The writing was a little stark and unfeeling but acceptably so. Maybe dress it up with medicated romanticizing, but otherwise your discretion should form the function...ie you're doing fine
 
I like this. My only complaint is there are too many "the boy" and "the girl" and "the boy said." Stuff like that I'd just change to he said or she said. And when you say "The boy and the girl spent most of the evening..." I'd just say "they" instead of "The boy and the girl."

Also, you change tense. At the beginning you're in present tense, but you switch to past tense right at the paragraph that starts "The boy and the girl spent most of the evening in the back of the coffee house"

This story sounRAB really familiar to me. Oxy bitches is what I call them. I almost fell for this girl, she was always around to suck my dick when the drugs were good, but once I run out of money, she's gone
 
yeah, i guess i was just trying to emphasize the child like nature of the characters by referring to them as boy and girl

i know i changed tense, i realized that right when i was about to turn this shit in and was proofreading lol. i guess it must be because i paused writing and came back to it and my default is to write in past tense.

yeah dude, i know what you mean. and theyre usu either really punk/scene/hipster or theyre those pseudo hippie ones.
 
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