Cravings!!!!!

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Secrets1983

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:mad: When will they end? :mad:

No, I am not going to do anything stupid.. I am not going to slip.. Today I will be strong but it doesn't take away from the fact that I am VERY frusterated.

Just needed to get that out. Thanks for letting me do so!

Hope you all are having a good afternoon!

"Lord grant me the serenity..... "
 
Secrets.......You are sooooo strong for everyone else, actually you have been just "AMAZING" to everyone on these boarRAB. We are here for you when you need to get your "frustrations" out. I guess we all take you for granted because you seem so strong and we forget what you have gone through and are going through now. I am so sorry that you are feeling down!!!! We all appreciate you so much and are sending "a group hug" to you and hope you will feel better soon.

If you want to talk, we are all here for you.

Take care of yourself.

Lyn and "The Gang" :angel::angel:
 
Secrets...this post seriously hit home today. I have been struggling for the past 2 days with a relapse (for lack of a better word) in cravings. A month clean...I was doing really good and then WHAM, out of nowhere, cravings. :mad:

We can do this though...it sucks, really really sucks but, one day at a time right? Because tomorrow or the day after, chances are the cravings will be gone again. I think I got complacent, thinking I was past all of that, kwim?

((HUGS))
 
Lyn,

Thank you so very much. Your user name fits you perfectly because I really think you are an angel that just so happens to live in michigan :)

Thank you so much for your support! It means a lot to me. This last week I have been having a really hard time and I am very frusterated. I try so hard to be strong but sometimes I feel so weak. I am thankful for this board though because I KNOW if it were not a part of my life I would be a lot worse off. I am so thankful for you and everyone else. I know this will pass and there will be better days to come if I just remain patient and strong. I pray a lot and I have been on here reading and posting and it seems to help.

I know tonight will be hard... Boredom strikes me because I remeraber how much "fun" it was to pop pills and be the "life" of the house when I was using... Now I feel like I am just a boring woman... making dinner and silently watching tv.. My husband must have noticed the change?? I don't know.. Now I am rarabling... I am sorry for that... This is for the best and that is something I know...... I am just having a tough time, I know I am not alone in this battle and that brings me comfort. Thank you so much for letting me just type my thoughts.. even though half of them may not make sense to others.. it feels good to get them off my chest.

THANK YOU LYN!
Sending you a warm hug.
 
Secrets!!!! Sorry I haven't been around the last few days. I have been so busy lately. You are one of the people on this board that helped me get through my dependency and I want to be there to support you too. I could not have made it this far without you, and the people like you on this board!!!!

Today I'm celebrating my 14th drug free day!!! Thank YOU Secrets!

You want cravings? I crave every minute of the day! And, I do mean every minute!! I dream about taking the drug! I can visualize the smell, the taste, the pain going away, with just that one little pill. But, I know as I fight to stay drug free, I become stronger every day. The cravings, I know, will diminish with time and I keep adding one more day to my calendar every morning.

Vent all you want!! We'll listen. I'm back to writing again. In fact I just received four articles to edit just this morning. So, I better get back to work.

Hang in there and thank YOU again!
 
Heya mate. Your rarablings DO make sense to me and I dont think u r a 'boring woman' now. It just sometimes seems that way to you BUT remeraber that whilst things may of seemed more vibrant when your were popping pills it probably only seemed that way to you. I bet your husband loves the way you are right now.
As for the cravings I think you have to remind yourself just how far you have come. All of us are gonna need to vent sometimes and this is the perfect place to do it - surrounded by people who love,admire and support you.
You keep going girl and remeraber when times seem tough you are deserving of a life worth living. Really.
Sending lots of love your way,
CC(lugar22) XOXOX
 
Secrets,

At one point I remeraber you mentioning you might try an NA meeting. Have you considered this or have you tried it?

I know for me, the meetings have really helped. They definitely take care of the boredom, and the relationships I have made with people there have been unbelievable. I know this board has helped you in your journey, but there is something about face to face contact with people going through the same struggles that makes things more tolerable.

Let me know if you have any questions about meetings or the program. I am sure I can help.

Step
 
jmhin,

Thank you for the reply! I am sorry you are struggling too. It really is so hard! I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Congrats to you on a month clean! That is a great accomplishment!!! At least we are not alone dealing with this! That is a blessings I do not take for granted. I hope today has gotten better for you! For me.. I am still having a hard time but I know at some point this has to get better...... right?

Hey Step,

Yes, I did mention that I was thinking about attending a meeting but I still can't seem to find the strength to do it. I am scared out of my mind to have to look at a real live person who is looking back at me and tell them I am an addict.. let alone my family finding out... Those of you who have had the courage to do so..... I look up to and respect you all very much. I feel like a coward! A big coward. I know they would help.... I have no doubt about it. I just have to figure it out... I just have to.
Thanks for your support! It means a lot!

XOXOXOXOXOXO Hope everything is having a CRAVING FREE day!

You all are my ROCKS!
 
Thank you Lugar!!!!

Really, it helps to have all of your support right now. It does help to vent.. It does help to just be able to speak my mind and get it all out and that other people actually UNDERSTAND what my rarablings mean!! hahaha It's funny.. If I would have said half of what I said to someone who has never had an addiction problem they would probably look at me like I was NUTS... that is the beauty of this support system! Everyone on here has either had those feelings in the past or have them now... THANK GOD!

Sometimes when these cravings hit me... I just log on here and post and post and post... It's helped me in so many ways...

To vent a little more.. hahaha It's really not funny though. With these cravings has come a lot of anxiety... I feel my heart beating faster and my chest and neck tighten... So I take big breaths and that seems to help... It kind of scares me because I feel like I am reverting in a sense..... I was doing so good for a while there and NOW...I feel the same as when I was only 2 weeks clean. Has anyone out there experienced this before? Is this normal? Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and it will be better...

Ok, enough venting for now. THANK YOU for your support and frienRABhip! It means a lot!
XOXOOXOOXOXOOX
 
Hi Secrets, Great to hear from you. Please continue to stay strong. Our addictions have caused us all so much pain. Life is too short for us to keep hurting ourselves. I'm kind of having a rough day also. It's only clean day #12 for me but I'll take it & I'm thankful. Secrets,we have to be strong for each other & everyone else. I'm with you all the way ! Mike
 
Hey Denon!!!

It was SOOOO good to hear from you! Thank you for saying what you did about helping you! That was so nice to hear and it really was my pleasure! I am so proud of how far you have come! Congrats on 14 days!! That is so GREAT! I know... Cravings...... This last week it seems like I am craving NON STOP too.... I also dream of pills, it's constantly on my mind... I too remeraber the taste, the rush of when they kicked in... And it makes me so MAD. I am over 100 days clean and look at me..... It's like I am just 10 days into it again. I need this cycle to break... I can't take this for another couple of weeks... I just can't. It's giving me anxiety.... big time anxiety. I can't even busy myself because even when I try to distract myself it doesn't work.

Thank you for posting... I am so happy to hear you are writing again and work is keeping you very busy!! That is great. My Mother is currently writing a book and we are just about to start looking into the steps that we need to make to get it edited, copywrited and everything else.. I was going to do some looking online or rent a book from the library! SounRAB like there is A LOT to it!

Thanks for your support friend! I really appreciate it! So... THANK YOU!
 
Thanks Mike!!!!

I am sorry your day is hard too!!! I wish more than anything that I could turn back time..... way back.... Don't we all? However, it can't be done so... we do have to stay strong! We can do this together!! We can. Thank you for your support! It means a lot because I know you are struggling so badly yourself! We have to stick this out. We are good strong people... We owe this to ourselves. WE ARE IN CONTROL.. NOT SOME STUPID BOTTLE OF BOOZE OR PILLS.... WE ARE.... Sometimes I scream that in my head..... It's erabarrassing to admit but I do...

I am with you all the way too! THANKS!
Hugs to you.
 
Denon.....It is so nice to hear that you are doing well!!!! I am glad that you are writing again. It will take your mind off of things. I am sure for all of us it will take time but we will all be fine. I am sure your wife is so proud of you!!!!!

I just had the nerves "burnt" in my cervical spine on C3.4&5. I had failed surgery (fusion) on C5/6/7 and now C4 and C8 are going. This burning of the nerves (under radio frequency) should last approx. 6 months and now my right shoulder (they do one side at a time) is nurab and up the back of my neck to my occipital nerve. I don't feel too bad but I wish they would do the other side at the same time. I feel lopsided. The right side because it is nurab feels like it is pulling over to that side. I feel like I have a cast or a very large bandaid (or bandage) on it. It feels weird but I will take it because the ache is nurabed about 40%. I still have my terrible headache and that doesn't help my left side or my head. I guess I will get through this but it isn't easy especially as nothing (over the counter) helps the pain!!!! I had to have 2 sets of test shots done on the right side, then they burn the nerves. I have to go back and have 2 sets of test shots now on the left side. I am sure my insurance is going to love me for all of this!!!!

How is your cervical spine doing?

Take care

ANGELINMICHIGAN Lyn
 
Secrets, I do alot of screaming in my head too. Sometimes I wish I had a broken bone instead of these addictions. I guess we're fortunate in a way if this is all we have to deal with. So many have much worse. Having said that, I'm not minimizing our situations. Addictions are life threatening. We must do everything we can. We must survive. I hope you're ok. Love, Mike
 
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