prncessang228
New member
I'm in the middle of a nasty custody battle with my ex over our 7 year old daughter.
the ONLY reasons I've chosen to seek sole custody (with him only getting supervised visitation on weekends) is because our daughter has been coming home the past 6 months telling me her dad sleeps all day long and leaves her to fend for herself (feed herself,entertain herself,etc)-She has even called me on the phone w/him unaware b/c he's been sleeping. she also reported finding porn dvds on her portable player he bought her for christmas on 2 separate occasions, and most importantly, she reported him assaulting her (he hit her in the back of her head while she had 3 staples in there from a fall the week before-he didn't cause the fall). I called CPS but they weren't much help.
We went to court on friday and I explained with the judge that b/c it's just my ex and our daughter living in his home, the only knowledge I gain from what goes on there is by talking to our daughter (she usually just tells me what happens) and I felt the court couldn't make a fair judgement about what was best for her w/out interviewing her. my ex immediately refused this interview and his attorney tried to say because she was too young. I argued that she wasn't too young to come home and tell ME what was going on-she can talk to an interviewer just fine.
the judge, seeing my ex's reaction (he started yelling and shaking his head no) decided to grant my request and scheduled the interview...it happens on Monday. I am concerned about this b/c my ex has our daughter up until the day of that interview which is a total of 3 days and he can threaten her,brainwash her, scare her into not telling the truth. I did stress this worry to the judge but he said that the interviewer was trained to notice that behavior and if it came out my ex does do that, he'd lose custody. he's been threatening and emotionally abusive in the past. things such as:
-telling our daughter she is better and smarter than her two sisters (who live with me and are NOT my ex's kids)
-telling our daughter that her sisters aren't really her sisters b/c they don't have the same dad (got the idea stuck in our daughter's head that being a "half-sister" was a bad thing).
-calls me horrible names ($itch,cu$t,Wh#re,etc) in front of our daughter while on the phone with me
-our daughter's aftercare teacher just happened to move into the apt above my ex's this past week and the other night (the FIRST night he had her back after losing custody for a month) while this teacher was walking up the stairs-he made the comment "brace yourself sadie, shamu is walking up the stairs." her teacher is very overweight and my ex was teaching her to make fun of her!! my daughter came home and told me this (and even knew he was being inappropriate) and called her own father mean.
-my daughter has made comments that she wishes my boyfriend was really her dad.
will the interviewer be able to tell if my ex threatened our daughter about telling any of the stuff she's said to me (tell her he's going to hurt her or take away her new xmas toys, tell her that he will never get to see her again,etc)?
I am so worried that she won't tell the truth for fear of whatever her dad threatens her with and then I'll end up losing custody or she'll be allowed to continue going over there (and continue to get mistreated)
thoughts?!!
the ONLY reasons I've chosen to seek sole custody (with him only getting supervised visitation on weekends) is because our daughter has been coming home the past 6 months telling me her dad sleeps all day long and leaves her to fend for herself (feed herself,entertain herself,etc)-She has even called me on the phone w/him unaware b/c he's been sleeping. she also reported finding porn dvds on her portable player he bought her for christmas on 2 separate occasions, and most importantly, she reported him assaulting her (he hit her in the back of her head while she had 3 staples in there from a fall the week before-he didn't cause the fall). I called CPS but they weren't much help.
We went to court on friday and I explained with the judge that b/c it's just my ex and our daughter living in his home, the only knowledge I gain from what goes on there is by talking to our daughter (she usually just tells me what happens) and I felt the court couldn't make a fair judgement about what was best for her w/out interviewing her. my ex immediately refused this interview and his attorney tried to say because she was too young. I argued that she wasn't too young to come home and tell ME what was going on-she can talk to an interviewer just fine.
the judge, seeing my ex's reaction (he started yelling and shaking his head no) decided to grant my request and scheduled the interview...it happens on Monday. I am concerned about this b/c my ex has our daughter up until the day of that interview which is a total of 3 days and he can threaten her,brainwash her, scare her into not telling the truth. I did stress this worry to the judge but he said that the interviewer was trained to notice that behavior and if it came out my ex does do that, he'd lose custody. he's been threatening and emotionally abusive in the past. things such as:
-telling our daughter she is better and smarter than her two sisters (who live with me and are NOT my ex's kids)
-telling our daughter that her sisters aren't really her sisters b/c they don't have the same dad (got the idea stuck in our daughter's head that being a "half-sister" was a bad thing).
-calls me horrible names ($itch,cu$t,Wh#re,etc) in front of our daughter while on the phone with me
-our daughter's aftercare teacher just happened to move into the apt above my ex's this past week and the other night (the FIRST night he had her back after losing custody for a month) while this teacher was walking up the stairs-he made the comment "brace yourself sadie, shamu is walking up the stairs." her teacher is very overweight and my ex was teaching her to make fun of her!! my daughter came home and told me this (and even knew he was being inappropriate) and called her own father mean.
-my daughter has made comments that she wishes my boyfriend was really her dad.
will the interviewer be able to tell if my ex threatened our daughter about telling any of the stuff she's said to me (tell her he's going to hurt her or take away her new xmas toys, tell her that he will never get to see her again,etc)?
I am so worried that she won't tell the truth for fear of whatever her dad threatens her with and then I'll end up losing custody or she'll be allowed to continue going over there (and continue to get mistreated)
thoughts?!!