Could you critique my villanelle?

Plato

New member
Don't Say Hello

She said she'd never leave me. But oh,
No, she's lied; again. She grew her
wings and flapped off and away, oh no.

But why, end? Will we live our life together? No?
Perhaps? Or will we both play pretend?
She lied and said she wouldn't but left.

What of our future? Our castle built beyond
Snow-covered hillsides against the
Blue-and-black sky, no?

Well, scratch that. I'll trash our
time together and our castle built in the land beyond the snow.
You won't care, will you? No.

So tonight, when I have my routine dream of you
And our future and fate and faith and the
Filth from my tears, I'll kiss your
Blood-red, rose-petal cheeks good-bye.

Oh, by the way, I still love you,
And likely as usual you'll forget this too, but
You lied and said you'd never leave me; said you'd never go.
So flap your wings, but say hello? No.
 
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