Could someone edit and tell me what they think of my poem?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Monica B
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Monica B

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Could somebody edit this poem i wrote and give back feedback/constructive criticismm?
oops i forgot to put the poem in =)

Happiness is like one strong rope that is the result of five distinct threads when twisted together.

The first thread is gratitude, a foundation stone upon which happiness is built. Appreciating what one has, instead of lingering on what one does not have, is an essential characteristic called gratitude.

The second thread is passion.
True happiness is expanded upon by passion, the inspiration to evolve into a better person every day.

The third thread is purpose. Purpose requires moving ahead, and making your own path as opposed to waiting on the world to provide happiness.

The fourth thread is faith, the firm belief that every experience has a purpose and has something positive to be gained from it, if only it can be found.

The fifth and final thread of happiness is love. Without love, faith, purpose gratitude, and passion would have no basis.
Love can be absorbed from another source, or cultivated within oneself, whether i
 
i think its very beutifull and i dont think ill need to correct it im a poet myself and i think your poem is like steps of getting throught life :) is that the message?
 
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