I'm very new to writing poetry and I am trying to write a poem for my girlfriend and I wanted some opinions on how it is so far.
(Poem)
When I'm with you, everything disappears.
I want us to be together, for years upon years.
My love for you is endless, and your beauty leaves me breathless.
I cannot get you off of my mind, it doesn't even matter how hard i try.
When you're not with me, I want to cry.
Why can you not just stay here, forever?
That would make our lives so much better.
I'm still working on it but what are your opinions?
(Poem)
When I'm with you, everything disappears.
I want us to be together, for years upon years.
My love for you is endless, and your beauty leaves me breathless.
I cannot get you off of my mind, it doesn't even matter how hard i try.
When you're not with me, I want to cry.
Why can you not just stay here, forever?
That would make our lives so much better.
I'm still working on it but what are your opinions?