Contemplating Jail Time

A

angiemarie*

New member
Alright so about a month and a half ago my girlfriend and I went to her friend's wedding. Happy time and all that like most weddings. One of the people there is this 17 yr old fuck off named Matt. Neither one of us knew him, but the wedding couple obviously did. I am a laid back guy so when he danced with my girl I didn't care. Now I do.

Ever since then he has been stalking my girl, following her around every where, calls her parents house at least 7 times a day. The little bastard has even found out where I live and found out my cell number, both which are unlisted. I have been trying to get my girl to get a restraining order on the guy, because well if she doesn't I am going to go to jail for assulting a minor with deadly force and maybe murder if the piece of shit dies.

Now normally I wouldn't be that extreme, but he told my girlfriend, who is 17 as well, that I am too old for her and it can cause legal problems, which it won't age of concent is 16. He told her I love you and you should drop him and be with me, the boy has a girlfriend, and now my girl thoroughly hates him because he is stalking her and because he is a cheater. Now that pissed me off, but him telling my girl that if she tells the cops or anything he will kill her and me, makes me murderous. You do not seriously threaten anyone I care about and not have to deal with consequences.

There are many different ways to go about this, my favorite being physically hurting the boy to the point he is in the hospital or six feet under. Some other things I have thought about is finding out where he live, won't be to hard, calling mommy and daddy and explain what there little angel has been doing, but pretend to be a lawyer when I do it since I studied law for a couple years in college. I figure I should also inform my girls dad whether or not she wants me to because he generally thinks on the exact same lines as I do and if I am lucky and get him into it the restraining order will be there in a heart beat and he will call the boys parents and ream them out.
 
Anrui I can only imagine how you feel man. I had someone come up to me and my ex(while we were still dating) and say, "Hey baby how 'bout you come with me?" Of course she moved closer to me and I told the fat redneck to bugger off. He got pissy and was like, "Get yourself a real man, come with me baby." He touched her shoulder, I flicked his hand off and told him to get the fuck out of my sight. He eventually left, and none of his wigger friends backed him up because they knew he was a dumbass.

Anyway what I'm trying to say is that is too far. Having someone try to force their way into your relationship and not only be involved, but kick you out of it. To make matters worse, he is obsessively following your girlfriend and even threatening her. I think that is the point for police intervention. Really, I do.

But before you call the police and get a restraining order yourself, you should tap one of the phone conversations he has with your girlfriend/her parents or save the messages on a tape as evidence. Police won't help you unless you have proof.

You may also want your girlfriend to carry mace or something just in case the douche tries anything funny. I know that's a scary possibility, but hey, this creep does not seem humane. Buy her some sort of preventative measure so she can kick his ass if necessary, and try to be with her when she goes out somewhere. If you see the creep, tell him in person to fuck off. It sounds to me like you are just watching this go by. Let him know that if he starts threatening you, he'll have a new set of teeth to go with his prune juice while he's in the hospital.
 
You can now get a harrassment restraining order yourself. Especially if he has left you any threatening emails, phone messages, ect. You should call the cops and tell them that this guy has PERSONALLY (as in, not through your girlfriend) threatened to kill you and that you are worried about his mental health. Then call his school, parents, psychiatric hospital. Take an add out in the local paper. And so on.

I would.

But If you just sit there telling your girlfriend what she should do, thats silly. And wimpy.

But don't beat the guy up or kill him, at least not until he makes the first punch. Well, don't kill him then, either. Unless he has a gun. Or a knife. Or a ten ton hammer. Or something.

You get my point.
 
This is a tricky situation. Although, punching someone in the face always appears to be the easiest and quickest solution to a problem it rarely ever is. Have you had the opportunity to just confront the guy about it? I'm no expert in human behavior but I'm willing to bet that the same mental defect that causes a person to become a stalker also obligates them to buckle under pressure. My recommendation to you would be to just walk up to the guy, calmly but assertively, call him out on all of the bullshit and tell him to fuck off, preferably in a public place, such as his place of employment. Even though, to become a stalker, you must lack certain mental capabilities, it's human nature to feel shame. And there are few things in life more shameful than to have the people you work with know that you are a psychotic stalker.
 
How awful this situation must be for your girlfriend and you. (I know, thank you, Captain Obvious.) Have to agree with Welshy, though, about letting the law handle as much of it as you can, so that the end result is not having your girlfriend visit you on Wednesdays and Sundays with chocolate chip cookies and a file.

If you can gather proof of the stalker's threats (videotape or recorded messages), it seems like that's a good set of evidence to present to the police. Also, the self-protection items are always good to carry around - mace, onion/garlic spray, a loud whistle or shrieker. If it were me, the instant the guy got within 10 feet, I'd be spraying and shrieking like a banshee. A bit embarassing perhaps, but certainly disconcerting and hopefully discouraging. It would definitely let the guy know I wasn't interested in any way, shape or form. And, the public recognition of his deeds (all those witnesses) would be another thing to share with the police, if needed.

I hope things work out for the both of you very soon. It's not easy on a relationship having a demented dipweed trying to spoil your time together.
 
Go with your girlfriend to the police station, learn what's required for a restraining order, then fulfill those prerequisites and help her get one. Then, if he continues with the bullshit, you can take further legal steps and mess up his life completely.

But, before doing all that, maybe you should go talk to the guy personally, tell him to stay away, maybe that kind of intimidation will be enough. Yeah, and get some mace for your girlfriend.

Violence, of course, would be the most rewarding for you, naturally, but before you do something of the sort, make sure it's justified as self-defence or something.

Anyway, good luck, I hope you manage to sort it out.
 
Found out it got even worse. Her ex held her arms behind her while the stalker dude hit her in the stomach and then they tried to rape her. This was last night. fuck it I am way too pissed off to post... too fucking bad I am at work and if I leave I will get fired...
 
I would let her father know. she is in danger and he needs to know that he might need to protect her. Stalking is a mental disease that only escalates. He could continue to watch her, then eventually approach her, Then get physical with her and then move on to threatening such as rape or murder. If he can't have her, no one can is the general idea behind a desperate stalker. The police need to be informed at least to know it's around. Get whatever proof you can get. Get pictures, taped phone conversations, anything, but you can tell the police at least. Stalking is a serious offense and the threat of it is enough to at least alert the police that something is up. they can't help unless there's proof, but it is notified in their records, especially if you have the guy's name and description.

Your GF needs to know the seriousness of stalking. The guy will not go away and since you know what he is capable of, I would think you and your GF crazy if you think he'd not attempt anything aggressive.

I would not take this matter lightly, but do not hurt this guy unless he's physically hurting you or your GF. Mace is a good idea for her and maybe some self defense classes, but she needs to be mindful of this guy. He's bad news!
 
Dude... shit. Go to the police straight away, do everything you can to get the fuckers behind bars for assault (if your girlfriend's got bruises it would help, I think). Fuck, killing them would, in my opinion, be wholly justified, they apparently don't deserve to live... but don't do anything of the sort, you'll only mess your own life up though.
Go to the authorities, tommorow (or today, depending on what the time is), and do whatever it takes to get them to take action immediately. If all else fails, and really only if all else fails, round up a bunch of friends and send the assholes to hospital. Good luck, be persistent, and I hope it works out.
 
Anrui, just relax for now.


Try to be around your girlfriend, and make sure she is being honest to you. Make sure she isn't lieing to you, or trying to hurt you. I know it sounds absurd, but really, make sure she isn't doing anything funny.

Do it to it.
 
:yeahthat:

Anyway if he is really assaulting your girlfriend and you can prove it, I'd tell the police. Right now. Don't even hesitate getting that creep behind bars and make sure he doesn't pull this crap ever again.
 
Thank you all for your comments, even you screwy, and don't worry The Chad, I made sure she wasn't lying about it we had a long talk about that. So had a sit down talk with her parents, so they know all of it now and the are only "thinking" about calling the police. My girl was in a violent relationship a few years ago, and has that super timid attitude when it comes to confrontation, especially with cops. So she is just waiting for her dad to do something. Grrr... I have thoroughly explained to them the seriousness of all of this and they just keep "thinking" about calling the police. Are they waiting for something else to happen which will most likely be worse than what happened. Well calling people isn't illeagal and in ND you do not have to tell the person you are recording the call so, I think I am going to find out how stupid this guy is. If I can get him to confess over the phone with it being recorded I will take care of it myself. If I go to the police without something like that the police around here will tell me to fuck off since I am just the boyfriend and her family nor her called them etc. The part that confuses me the most is I found out no one in her family has a vengeful bone in the bodies... WTF...
 
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