Here's the story: about ten weeks ago, I was on this site, www.collarme.com. It's a BDSM dating site. I was sixteen at the time; I have since had a birthday and turned seventeen. However, I would lie to people and tell them I was a eighteen.
I was very addicted to sexuality and BDSM in particular. I was a submissive. So I was speaking to a female dominant on the site, her name was Cindy something, and she told me to do something. She told me to go get my mother's underpants and put them in my mouth while recording it. I knew it was a stupid thing to do, but I wanted to impress the girl and show her I was a proper submissive. My mother was in her room, however, so instead I got a pair of my sister's underpants from her drawer (she was out). I then went into the bathroom and pretended to take a shower, but instead put my sister's underwear in my mouth while recording it with my iPod.
I put the video on the computer and intended to send it to the girl, but for some reason I kept getting technical errors. So it never got sent. Why did I do this? I'm not entirely sure. At the time I thought it wouldn't be a big deal and I was depressed, so I kind of fell into a trap. It was almost a self destructive thing. And now, all these weeks later, I still can't get over it. I feel like I crossed some horrible line, beyond which there is no return. For a few hours after I did this, I didn't really feel much of anything. However, soon I began to realize the implications of what I had done. I can't get over it.
I was very addicted to sexuality and BDSM in particular. I was a submissive. So I was speaking to a female dominant on the site, her name was Cindy something, and she told me to do something. She told me to go get my mother's underpants and put them in my mouth while recording it. I knew it was a stupid thing to do, but I wanted to impress the girl and show her I was a proper submissive. My mother was in her room, however, so instead I got a pair of my sister's underpants from her drawer (she was out). I then went into the bathroom and pretended to take a shower, but instead put my sister's underwear in my mouth while recording it with my iPod.
I put the video on the computer and intended to send it to the girl, but for some reason I kept getting technical errors. So it never got sent. Why did I do this? I'm not entirely sure. At the time I thought it wouldn't be a big deal and I was depressed, so I kind of fell into a trap. It was almost a self destructive thing. And now, all these weeks later, I still can't get over it. I feel like I crossed some horrible line, beyond which there is no return. For a few hours after I did this, I didn't really feel much of anything. However, soon I began to realize the implications of what I had done. I can't get over it.