Computer School Snippets

What the hell is baby-foot.

Anyway, great stories. I help with IT and half the time the issue has righted itself befpre I get there, or turning the computer off and on makes the issue vanish. The worst is when Windows XP (which I curse and praise depending on the situation) has thoroughly explained how to fix the problem in english a retard who barely spoke chinese could understand and the 'client' (read: mental defect) has still been unable to fix it himself.

Not everyone is bad though. You have that Jack fellow and I have a few cool clients including a blind man who is betaing all sorts of text recognition software so his screen reader can interpret it.
 
BONUS #3! Files & Fear
Seen in the input window of some idiot in front of me who had made a small program to write data to a file:

Please enter the file name: file.txt
Please enter the number of entries to store: 45

Me: Dude... close this and type "3" or "4" next time around...



BONUS #4! KILL YOURSELF: File Version
Seen in the input window of the same idiot as above, before he attempted to test his program by storing forty-five entries:

Please enter the file name: _

Idiot: Sir! File name, what do I put??
 
BONUS #5! Persistence is an Annoying Virtue
Class had started 10 minutes ago.
Idiot: *knock-knock*
Teacher: Don't answer. So, as I was saying...
Idiot: *knock-knock*
Teacher: ...The way this particular example has to be done is by...
Idiot: *KNOCK-KNOCK!*
Me: *opens door* You're late. Come back at the break. *slams door*
Teacher: Thank you. So, if we look at this relationship here: is it an association, an aggregation or a composition?
Idiot: *knock-knock-knock!*
Teacher: ...
Idiot: *knock-knock-knock!*

The dude ended up knocking for the next 30 minutes.

Then, as the break began and we opened the door...

Idiot: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! WHAT THE FUCK'S THAT SHIT CLOSING THE DOOR ON ME LIKE THAT! YOU'RE LIKE "YOU'RE LATE SO GET OFF" AND JUST SLAM! WHATEVER THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO YOU MAN?! THE TEACHER MAKES THE RULES, YOU DON'T!!!
Jack: ...
Me: ...O RLY?
 
BONUS #6! REPORT CARD
HARDWARE
My Mark: 90%
Class Average: 66%

MICROSOFT OFFICE
My Mark: 94%
Class Average: 59%

STRUCTURED PROGRAMMING I
My Mark: 96%
Class Average: 59%

WINDOWS XP
My Mark: 88%
Class Average: 57%

MATHEMATICS
My Mark: 85%
Class Average: 53%

In 4 out of my 5 classes, the class average ended up being an F.
 
I wouldn't speak so soon. We're having idiots who quite obviously should have failed and yet are still here.

BONUS #7! Listen already!

Today, we are to modelize a library's system. That is, determine who are the end users, what the system must do, and what are the different objects that the system will have to manage (books, CDs, customers, etc.)

And thus...

Teacher: All right, so which end users did you find?
Idiot: The customer, sir!
Teacher: The customer is an end user?
Idiot: Yes sir.
Teacher: OK, but who is the person behind the counter and ringing the books up?
Idiot: Well, he's an end user too.
Idiotess: Yeah! I mean, it's not like if I wanna borrow a book, I don't go to the guy at the counter and say "borrow that book for me!"
Me: Wait a mi--
Idiot: So yeah, the customer interacts with the system.
Me: Does the customer type on the computer?
Idiotess: What?!...
Me: The end user is the person who acts on the system via computer.
Idiotess: Yeah but the customer acts on the system too! By borrowing the books!
Me: No, it doesn't work that way. The end user is the person who uses the computer in the end run. The guy behind the counter is an end user of the system. The customer doesn't touch the computer, thus he isn't an end user.
Idiotess: So what?! It's like the customer doesn't exist or something?!
Teacher: OK, now that we determined that the customer is not an end user, can you name the others that you found please?
Idiot: The borrowing!
Idiotess: The customer!
 
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