ideas.? Purpose: To tell of an entertainingly odd experience about a prom date
Summary: My friend sets me up with a blind date against my will, but I go with it anyway because she already said she wanted to go. We discover that my friend doesn't have room in his group and that we have to go alone, my date seems unsure, so I call her up. She says she'll have to think about it. I approach her the next day, and recieve the same message. After the third time I decide to call it off, after many rumors of her being a bit strange. She tells me she wants to go, and that she's going to be wearing sweats underneath her dress and then rip off her dress and break dance as a 'surprise'. I tell her once again I don't want to go, and then she says she'll have to think about it. I call her back and tell her straight up that I don't want to go and heres how it went:
"I don't want to go to the prom with you." A long silence came from the other end and then a quiet, seemingly strained 'okay..." was heard.
How can I revise the ending of my story to make it fit my purpose better, I am allowed to turn in a third draft to try and get full credit, but my ending was one of the things my teacher didn't like. This is a true story but I can change it to fit my purpose if needed. Thanks for reading, and I really hope you can help. This is due tomorrow and its a college paper and I really need to do good.
Summary: My friend sets me up with a blind date against my will, but I go with it anyway because she already said she wanted to go. We discover that my friend doesn't have room in his group and that we have to go alone, my date seems unsure, so I call her up. She says she'll have to think about it. I approach her the next day, and recieve the same message. After the third time I decide to call it off, after many rumors of her being a bit strange. She tells me she wants to go, and that she's going to be wearing sweats underneath her dress and then rip off her dress and break dance as a 'surprise'. I tell her once again I don't want to go, and then she says she'll have to think about it. I call her back and tell her straight up that I don't want to go and heres how it went:
"I don't want to go to the prom with you." A long silence came from the other end and then a quiet, seemingly strained 'okay..." was heard.
How can I revise the ending of my story to make it fit my purpose better, I am allowed to turn in a third draft to try and get full credit, but my ending was one of the things my teacher didn't like. This is a true story but I can change it to fit my purpose if needed. Thanks for reading, and I really hope you can help. This is due tomorrow and its a college paper and I really need to do good.