Codependency

[3dogs]

I was going through some books and found a book on this topic. I think it was divine intervention. I have always tried to control everything...I thought it was just my personality, but I have discovered it isn't. Does anyone have experience with this?

 

[animalcrossingrox]

:wave: Yes, there are many books on codependency. Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie was one of the first of these self help books, published back in 1990 I think, my sister and I went to hear her speak at a local book signing. She's written at least a dozen more books on the subject since then. I love her daily meditations book.

Other authors I've read are Robin Norwood, Joyce Meyer, Karen Casey and John Bradshaw (years ago Brawshaw had a great series on PBS about dysfunctional families, I think it's still available).

Many counselors and therapists specialize in codependency issues.

Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) is a twelve step styled support group, local listings should be in your newspaper. I found the quality of these meetings vary widely though - some are very well run, supportive and informative. Others only have a few people and it ends up like a coffee get-together, just gossipy talk. That's true of most informal support groups, IMO, the bigger the better.

 

[Yume-chan]

I just finished reading two excellent books: "Facing Love Addiction" by Pia Mellody and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. I read them because my son is totally codependent on his girlfriend. He can't speak or make any decisions. She does it all. If I ask how he is, he tells me how she is. He has lost his individuality. It is not a healthy relationship to be in. Two people who can function alone come together to enjoy each other and share their lives--that's healthy. One person totally controlling another isn't. My son's girlfriend has cut him off from all his friends and is even jealous when he spends time with his sister or his parents. In the group CODA mentioned above, you learn not to control others, to let them face the consequences of their own actions which provides dignity and builds self-esteem. It's a great group.