I just don't get it. I have been in the real world for well over a year after graduating from university.I am working now but still live at home as the rents in my town are too high for me to afford.
I have no local friends any more as my uni friends are scattered about all over the place and we are several hours apart. We have occasional weekends together but not a regular social life. My old school friends have all moved on due to either further study, work or relationships.
People told me I'd make friends at work but I have not. Everyone commutes in all different directions. I don't have a car and even if I did then just visiting a lot of these people would be something like a 3-hour round trip. Not what I would consider a "local" friend.
I have pretty much had to start from scratch. The thing is that nothing works. The things that worked when I was at uni do not work in the real adult world.
For instance at uni I was heavily involved in clubs and societies and I ended up meeting lots of other people looking to try something cool and make friends. When I join local groups (clubs, classes that sort of thing) in the real world its just people who want to get an hour or two away from their families per week and have little interest in socializing. Volunteering was similar, limited opportunities and its just wealthy middle aged housewives.
Or I go to bars and (very limited) local events. At uni people went to these things to meet people. You could go on your own, mingle and end up talking to people you'd never met before and it would often lead to meeting new friends. In the real world there is no mingling at these things. People come in their groups, buy drinks in their group and sit with their group and trying to get in their group is like trying to break into a maximum security prison. Maybe you just reach a stage in your life where you think, I've got all the friends I need and I don't want any more.
How does friendship and meeting new friends in the adult world work?
I have no local friends any more as my uni friends are scattered about all over the place and we are several hours apart. We have occasional weekends together but not a regular social life. My old school friends have all moved on due to either further study, work or relationships.
People told me I'd make friends at work but I have not. Everyone commutes in all different directions. I don't have a car and even if I did then just visiting a lot of these people would be something like a 3-hour round trip. Not what I would consider a "local" friend.
I have pretty much had to start from scratch. The thing is that nothing works. The things that worked when I was at uni do not work in the real adult world.
For instance at uni I was heavily involved in clubs and societies and I ended up meeting lots of other people looking to try something cool and make friends. When I join local groups (clubs, classes that sort of thing) in the real world its just people who want to get an hour or two away from their families per week and have little interest in socializing. Volunteering was similar, limited opportunities and its just wealthy middle aged housewives.
Or I go to bars and (very limited) local events. At uni people went to these things to meet people. You could go on your own, mingle and end up talking to people you'd never met before and it would often lead to meeting new friends. In the real world there is no mingling at these things. People come in their groups, buy drinks in their group and sit with their group and trying to get in their group is like trying to break into a maximum security prison. Maybe you just reach a stage in your life where you think, I've got all the friends I need and I don't want any more.
How does friendship and meeting new friends in the adult world work?