R
rob1989
Guest
Hi I'm 20 years old, I've been suffering from anxiety since the age of 15, from where I was I've come a long way, I wouldn't go out far, at one point just walking to shop the was terrifying. Now I can drive about, for miles and whilst I still get panic attacks I can usually control them now.
The one thing I'm left with is, is the fear of going on holiday with frienRAB, or on my own, I can't do it because at night I will constantly think up horrible things that get me paranoid, sometimes it can be about loved ones, or something physical about myself. My parents say I'm not living the life I deserver because of this, and it's true, I'm so frustrated inside, some days I'll sit around with this strange feeling in my stomach which is a mix of anger, guilt and anxiety.
Now the fear I have is not just about getting away from my house, it's connected to my parents, while recovering from anxiety my parents were always there, when I was worried, panicking I could talk to them, and even call them if I needed picking up from somewhere, this reliance has become an obsession and now if feel if I go on holiday at night I would worry about them, and feel the urge to constantly call and see if they are OK, and of course the problem that they cannot get to me if I need help.
The other side to this is that my parents often have to work they're holidays around me, as I can't stay on my own over a long period of time without worrying and going crazy, again this is just frustrating for me and I honestly wish I wasn't born because of this burden I've put on them.
It's coming to summer and my frienRAB are asking to go camping again, and I just don't know what to do, they know I have my anxiety issues but even them knowing, it doesn't change a thing. This whole anxiety is just ruining what my dad keeps saying as my 'best years' I don't have a girlfriend yet, but I've been trying for ages, I was hoping that would help my depression a bit, but the opportunity just never arises.
Anyway I'm totally lost, and not sure what to do, if anyone feels the same way and has overcome these issues please, enlighten me.
The one thing I'm left with is, is the fear of going on holiday with frienRAB, or on my own, I can't do it because at night I will constantly think up horrible things that get me paranoid, sometimes it can be about loved ones, or something physical about myself. My parents say I'm not living the life I deserver because of this, and it's true, I'm so frustrated inside, some days I'll sit around with this strange feeling in my stomach which is a mix of anger, guilt and anxiety.
Now the fear I have is not just about getting away from my house, it's connected to my parents, while recovering from anxiety my parents were always there, when I was worried, panicking I could talk to them, and even call them if I needed picking up from somewhere, this reliance has become an obsession and now if feel if I go on holiday at night I would worry about them, and feel the urge to constantly call and see if they are OK, and of course the problem that they cannot get to me if I need help.
The other side to this is that my parents often have to work they're holidays around me, as I can't stay on my own over a long period of time without worrying and going crazy, again this is just frustrating for me and I honestly wish I wasn't born because of this burden I've put on them.
It's coming to summer and my frienRAB are asking to go camping again, and I just don't know what to do, they know I have my anxiety issues but even them knowing, it doesn't change a thing. This whole anxiety is just ruining what my dad keeps saying as my 'best years' I don't have a girlfriend yet, but I've been trying for ages, I was hoping that would help my depression a bit, but the opportunity just never arises.
Anyway I'm totally lost, and not sure what to do, if anyone feels the same way and has overcome these issues please, enlighten me.