can you rate this song i wrote please. 1-10?

D

Dude

New member
its called when the sky breaks.

v1
when the sky breaks
i know what i have to do
i need to be beside the person i love
and the person i love is you
i need to be by your side
i need to hold you tight
we need our last kiss together
when the sky breaks tonight.

v2
when the world is over
and all is said and done
our love will remain
cos our feelings are just so strong
when the world comes crashing down
with memories all around you
can you say we've done our living
since nothing more can we do

ch
when the sky breaks
it'll be all over
when the sky breaks
all take cover
when the sky breaks
say you prayers
when the sky breaks
have no regrets

v3
when Armageddon's here
we will never fear
as love will guide us through
and tell us all we need it to
cos on this we depend
for one thing i am sure
i want to be with you ever more
forever more

ch

v4
what will the afterlife be like
will it be dark
or will it be light
it doesn't really matter
as long as we're together
nothing can harm us
for ever and ever

ch

br
my last words to you
are goona sound good
need can i harm you
you know i never would

this is the time
i know what to do
since these are my last words
...i love you

opinions please.
thanx
 
Really well done, shame its so sad. Still what do i know, i prefer happier songs but you have some definate skill there so keep it up xx Rate 9/10
 
i like the lyrics a lot. they are interesting and seem to have a story, which makes a song better.

One thing is, the chorus repeats "When the sky breaks" too much. That may be the name of the song, but it doesn't seem to fit right. Try using a phrase with a the last word rhyming with break.

Keep up the good work =)
 
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